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My Boyfriend asked me for tips on how he should propose...

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
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    1.
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    Soon2BEngaged    March 5, 2011  

    Okay, I know that my boyfriend is planning on proposing soon.  He's already asked my Dad (who told me) and he already showed the ring to his Mother (who told me) but I was still planning on being surprised when he finally asked.  However, yesterday my boyfriend told me this..."Babe, I have the ring and I've wanted to propose to you all week but I don't know how.  Do you have any tips?"

    I got irritated.  Was I wrong?  I told him that there are a lot of things I would help him with but that this should be all him.  I don't think I should have to tell him how to propose.  I told him to look for tips online, try to be creative and that it doesn't have to be an expensive proposal.

    I feel a little bit cheated.  I don't think I should have to tell him how to propose!  What do other people think?  Is this normal?

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I don't think he should be asking for tips.  He should be figuring it out on his own, even if it isn't some big huge romantic expensive affair, at least put your own time into it!

     
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    LGenz    May 21, 2011   New Jersey, Wedding in Clearwater, FL

    My FI did something similar, I could tell he was getting really nervous and I told him that the most important thing was that it was heartfelt and that he thought about what he wanted to say to me. Cut him some slack, he's probably just worried he won't meet your expectattions

     
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    Miss Bella    October 15, 2011   Blue Bell, PA

    Whhhatt?  Thats seems kinda silly to me he would ask you that!  Of course you want to be surprised as much as possible since you obviously know he has the ring and the proposal is on the way!  Maybe he is just nervous and wanted to throw you off his game. 

     

    But either way congrats on the impending engagement!!

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Oh, poor guy, he's probably worried about doing it "wrong!" I know my guy totally stressed about this. Obviously he shouldn't have asked you, but he's just clueless, haha. Tell him however he proposes, you'll say yes and tell him not to worry about it. I did warn DH once not to propose too dramatically in public or anything, but only b/c that kind of stuff freaks me out. Maybe that's what he was driving at?

     
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    KIKI82    October 30, 2010   SoCal

    Oh I would be annoyed, too, but maybe he is just really nervous. My FI and I talked about htis but like over 5 months before he proposed. Just tell him to make it heart felt

     
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    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    I think he was trying to see if there were any definite "no" proposals in your mind, and I think that's very considerate. For instance, I would have loathed a public spectacle type proposal. R was smart enough to know that and double check with me beforehand. 

    Asking for tips doesn't have to mean you tell him what to do. Just let him know you'll love whatever he comes up with, and if you have any definite don'ts. 

     
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    charismaclassic    May 29, 2010   Greeneville, TN

    Send him here and have him read through some proposal stories.  Maybe that will give him a little inspiration. 

     
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    Soon2BEngaged    March 5, 2011  

    Thanks Gals!  Just reading your posts put a different perspective on it.  I'll send him a link to a website on creative proposals!

     
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    coffeekitty    November 2010  

    that is so cute! he wants to give you what you want but doesn't know how. that is so frickin sweet!!

    mine just asked me one day at home and tossed me a ring. lol.

     

     
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    IrisLilac    June 4, 2011  

    My FI did the same thing and I was pretty mad. I didn't think it was fair that I should be the one doing the work on this one... Then I found out what a couple of his ideas had been and they were HORRIBLE, even by my relatively laid-back standards.  Smile  So I suggested web sites for him to check out and told him which of our friends would be good people to turn to for help. It turned out great.

    Good luck!  (I feel your pain, though.)

     
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    greenleafmountain    7.31.2010  

    I think he probably just wants it to be really special.  I would tell him general things, like if you don't want it to be in public, or if you must have your family there, or something like that.  I told my FI I had only two requests, 1. no sporting events, 2. no long sweaty hikes (I wanted to look good!). ;)

     
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    lululemonade    February 14, 2012  

    I can understand why you'd feel a little irritated, I'd probably be a little annoyed too, but he probably had really good intentions. Just like girls have an engagement vision, so do the guys. I bet he just wants it to be as perfect as possible, maybe he's checking to see if there's anything that you need to complete your perfect proposal. I would say yes no matter what to a proposal from my boyfriend but it would be extra special if a) he got down on one knee and b) he didn't do it by making a huge scene in the middle of a public place, I'm sort of shy haha.

    Just let him know that you'll say yes no matter what and anything that is really important to you. He probably just wants it to be everything you've ever wanted ( : Congratulations on your future engagement!

     
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    rachaelrobin    January 16, 2011   Philadelphia

    Even if he asked for tips, he didn't tell you when it will be. And no matter what, it will be special coming from him.  I can understand the frustration, but honestly, could it may be misdirected? Why did you Dad and FMIL decide to blah?!

    Congrats on your future engagement. Let us know how he ends up proposing!

     

     
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    Sep_Queen    September 4, 2010  

    Thats horribly wrong that your father and your fmil would tell you!! plus your bf asking you!? not good.

     
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    LadySapphire    September 10, 2011  

    Well, I would probably be annoyed too.  But, I am in kind of the same dilemma and asked my fiancee his favorite style of dress.

    I see it as you are his best friend and who better to ask than his best friend?  My FI and I always are asking eachothers advice, and know that no one else can provide a good answer as to what the other one likes.  He asked me to have some basic rules of no-nos for the proposal, (mines was don't propose off a reader board or tv at a game lol)  but I know after that he Has to figure it out.  Even if he wanted me to I couldn't script it, it has to be his choice.  So I just told him to be creative. :)

     
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    prncss47    July 2012   OC, California

    Maybe it wasnt so much that he needed help as much as he wanted to give you a proposal that would truly be perfect. My FI knew that I am a type A and so he asked me what I "preferred". I told him first that I would of course love any proposal from him. But did mention I didnt want it to be in an overly public place, that I wanted it to be on a weekend so I can enjoy it before going back to work and things like that. Whether he followed or not, was his call. He took my "tips" and some other things I had mentioned over the months (like my parents being there, even though they live 7 hrs away) and gave me the most amazing proposal ever. I never saw it as meaning he didnt know me, or know what I would like. You only do it once, so I was happy he wanted to make sure it was true perfection.

     

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