Post # 1
Me and my boyfriend had been together for 4 years and i thought very much in love. i knew I wanted to marry him however our relationship wasn’t going well. After some time he didn’t give me anything for my birthday, anniversary or any other occassion. He simply didn’t seem to care. So i told him I wanted to break up because i didn’t see his commitment on top of everything he wanted me to leave my job and move to where he lived because he had move 3 months ago. I didn’t feel his commitment and thought moving down wouldn’t be a good idea considering how badly I felt about our relationship. When I told him he asked me what he needed to do in order to keep me, and i said that I needed to see commitment, and he said like what, and i said I didn’t know but I felt like I was ready for us to get engaged. He proposed right then and there. We spoke about it afterwards and agreed that he would get me a ring soon, he definitely had the money and I didn;t want anything fancy. The months went by and people kep asking me where my ring was, of course I would get embarass and had no answer. When I ask him about it, he’s like that it was more like a joke and he said what he had to to keep me at the time. I know I shouldn’t have said that, and i feel like I pressured him by saying that. But I feel bad that our engagement is a joke and that his friends tell him “You’re so smart, you got engaged without having to spend money on a ring” and he laughs and says “this is how you do it”. I really feel like its a joke. And the fact that i chose him but he has yet to choose me makes me sad. Am I dead wrong?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. *hug*
My advice: Leave him. He doesn’t take you seriously.
Post # 4
It doesn’t sound like this guy respects you or has any intention to get married.
You said before you were going to leave if he didn’t show his commitment – he hasn’t shown you anything but a “joke” proposal – so it’s time to leave. If you don’t you’re setting yourself up to be doormat status.
Post # 5
What a horrible thing to do to someone. I am so sorry. You will get through this. Please, move on with your life and cut off all contact with him. I am so glad that you did not move in with him. He is the joke, and he should be embarassed, not you. He sounds like a real loser… You can do so much better. Save your love for someone who deserves it.
Post # 6
Sorry Hun, but after four years and a FAKE proposal, you need to leave him. I’m not saying that it can’t be official without a ring, because that’s not what’s important. What is important is that he asks you to be his wife and you agree, after which you begin to plan the rest of your lives together. Not that he says what he needs to in order to keep you around a while longer. If this is a sign of other commitment issues then I really doubt he will ever truely propose.
Post # 7
He sounds like a dick. I’m so sorry he pulled something like that on you. It doesn’t sound like this relationship is going anywhere – it’s so one-sided, and he isn’t doing anything for you. There are better men out there, I promise.
Post # 8
I think he sounds like a jerk. I think he meant the proposal at the time, but he has obviously decided that he can get away without making any commitment to you because you stayed without a ring. The fact that he makes those comments to his friends means that he is totaly comfortable with stringing you along and doing it publicaly. If I were you I wouldn’t want to be with someone that doesn’t respect me enough to honor his proposal. He is almost making fun of you by showing that you won’t ever leave him. Respect yourself and get out of that relationship.
Post # 9
@maria4444: this guy does not respect you at all. i believe you deserve better.
Post # 10
That is horrible! I think it’s time to go and that you will be better off without him! What will he do next… Lie about wanting to have kids and then have that be a joke too down the road ?
Post # 11
@maria4444: You are not dead wrong. This guy sounds really insensitive and I think you are right to question how committed he is to you.
Post # 12
Ditch his disrespectful ass. He is a complete jerk and doesn’t deserve you. You should be with someone who can’t wait to propose to you and spend the rest of his life with you. I’m so sorry this guy has been so cruel to you.
Post # 13
Your boyfriend’s a douche. Time to dump him and find a real man.
Post # 14
I’m sitting next to FI and he’s responses were… “is he an idiot? that is not ok. she should leave his ass.”
the jury has spoken.
Post # 15
That deception is cruel and disrespectful of you. I hope you will find someone else who actually wants to be with you.
That man does not honor you now. He won’t change after marriage.
Post # 16
1. Kick him. Hard
2. Walk away and never look back