- 3 years ago
Hello all. So I knew my boyfriend has had a “dream” ring in mind since around the time we first started dating. In fact, he has loved this ring since BEFORE we even met each other. One of his closest friends is a jeweler and he custom made a ring for a client that my boyfriend happened to see and love.
When we started seriously talking about getting engaged, I was curious and asked to see the ring. He kept it from me for a long time since he wanted it to be a surprise. But after talking to his friend, it seemed wise to get me involved since there are soooo many little touches to decide on and bf wanted me to be 100% happy.
Well, he did warn me that once I get involved, 90% of the work will come from me (ie, I had to go and okay the stone. I had to okay the design, etc.). Well, now his friend just called to let me know the 3D model of my ring was just printed and I can come in to look at it and give the final okay. When I told my bf about it and asked him when he’d be free to take a look with me, he told me he doesn’t want to go (?!). I had to repeat the question a few times because it boggled my mind. Apparently, this annoyed him and he reminded me that I was going to do most of the work (which I have). As we were talking, he sort of let out a “well, why does it even matter if I go? You didn’t do any of the things I liked or wanted, anyway.” WTF?! This entire process, he has NEVER mentioned any particular design he wants or likes. The only thing I’ve ever even heard mentioned or seen is the picture of his “dream ring”. The ring is fine. The whole thing wasn’t exxxactly to my taste (it was bezeled and had milgrain details. I like more sleek and simple designs), but I would’ve loved it, anyway, if he had just bought it and surprised me, like he intended. But I thought that was the whole point of getting me involved– so that it’s to my liking, ALSO.
Plus, he pretty much admitted he didn’t really like the design I picked out. He doesn’t like the split shank band and that its missing some details from the original ring. Honestly, this is news to me, because the one I have now is based on a pic of another ring he saw and liked and recommended to me. ESPECIALLY the split shank part. He literally said to me “I’d be happy if you picked out a split shank design”. W T F?
I’m honestly, COMPLETELY confused. I thought when he involved me in the process, we’d at least decide on the finished product together. I didn’t expect him to go in there every single time, but I thought he would care enough to see the mold before the ring is finished. Am I taking this too personally? I feel like our ring is supposed to be a symbol of our unity, yet I’m in this completely alone 🙁 this makes me so sad. He says I can’t have it both ways. But I’m pretty bummed. I don’t even want him to go WITH me. I just want him to go see it before he has to pay for it. What’s going on here? Somebody help me understand?