Post # 1
I am confused right now. I don’t know what to do. I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for a year and a half now. We love each other and we’re in a long distance relationship he’s in the US and im living in Asia. Last week we went to an island vacation for a week just the two of us. The day he arrived i was waiting for him at the hotel, I was so excited to see him because it’s been 10 months we didn’t see each other but we talked everyday online, we spent most of our time talking to each other about our relatuonship how we wanted to be together, how we love much each other. So, we went to a vacation for week, It was nice. I enjoyed allot being with him it’s like for me one week to be together is really not enough. It’s feels great to see him again and I wish that last week won’t have to end because im really tired of being away from him it’s so sad. And i miss allot everyday but on the day that he was scheduled to leave back to the US we we’re in our hotel it was early in the morning we’re watching tv and talkinga about some stuff then suddenly he told me “Baby I think we’re not perfect for a marriage. I really didn’t expect he’ll going to tell me that, I was so shocked all i can do is cry ALOT. We already have plans to be together, I’m almost going to get my visa soon to be with him in the US and stay there with him for a long time and be married to him. I loved him so much. He told me he loves me allot. It makes me confused about allot of things if he loves me whycan’t he marry me? I feel like i was being dump. See im going to have my visa soon around September it’s a fiancee visa. It will only let me stay in the US for 90 days and marry my boyfriend if not then I’ll be sent back to my country!! God. i don’t know what to do, if i go there and my boyfriend is not marrying me because he told me were not perfect for a marriage God. i don’t know what will happen to me. It’ll be like Im just going there to be with him for 90 days then after that he’ll dump me, I’ll be left alone with the one I love in his country and eventually go home to my country broken hearted!!! I don’t know what to do right now..my boyfriend told me he loves me so much and he wants me to continue the visa and go there and see him in the US. I still can’t stop crying until now, I don’t what he wants to happen to us. I really thought were getting married after i get my visa. My boyfriends He is a very nice and wonderful person. I like everything about him. He understands me, he’s always there for me in good times and bad times and he always tells me how much he loves me and want to be with me but now i don’t know what happened to our plans to be together he is still that wonderful and adorable person I’ve known though but I just don’t know what makes him change his mind and think that we’re not perfect for a marriage. Being married to each other is the only way we can be together for a lifetime because I can never stay in his country longer than 3 months. I loved him so much I want him to be apart of my life. I want to be with him everyday, grow old with him, have kids and have a happy family but right now I think all of these things are not happening anymore. Btw my boyfriend and I we’re both in 20’s he’s 29.
Post # 3
I think you should step back and look at this from an outsiders perspective. He told you point blank that basically you two didn’t have a good enough relationship for marriage.
I would tell him that I was sorry he felt that way and move on. Don’t waste your time with someone who is just going to string you along.
Post # 4
He just not into you. Move on.
Post # 5
I know plenty of LDRs work out but think about it this way. You’ve only been together 18 months and seen each other once in the past 10. That’s not a lot. If after just that he’s telling you it’s not going to work, then it’s not going to work.
It’s a shame, but I think you’re better off moving on than wasting your time with him.
Post # 6
So many women stay with guys for years getting mixed signals or strung along, so I think having him tell you that he does not see a future with you is quite a blessing so you won’t be wasting time/money/effort/energy wondering and waiting and hoping and wishing for a real future with him.
Post # 7
I would NOT leave your country. Not right now anyway. Did you you explain the situation to him about it being a fiancee visa? If he wants to be with you forever, but does not want to get married when he knows for you to even be here you guys have to, then something is wrong. If he is firm on not getting married, then I would just stay in Asia. What country are you from by the way? Just curious. I know it will hurt, but imagine how much more it will hurt to come allllll the way here and then have him break your heart over marriage. I am sorry you are going through this, and if he can’t understand that you need marriage, my advice to you is to stay home and move on. I know it will hurt, but it will get better. Good luck!!! *hugs*
Post # 8
Well I would basically say your relationship is over… this comes from a gal who has been from a close relationship, then to long distance, then found it hard to readjust when we were close distance again.
Online talk is fine – but its no substitute for the everyday physical relationship you get when you can actually see each other and do things together.
Please don’t give up everything to move to be with him, love is usually only just round the corner from where you are, especially if he has told you bluntly, he does NOT want to marry you.
Best wishes xx
Post # 9
Girl, move on.
It’s not that he isn’t sure about you. It’s that he is sure about you–he’s sure you’re NOT the one. Men don’t say that unless they’re REALLY, REALLY sure.
If you continue in this relationship, you’re going to waste your time and get your heart broken, and you deserve a lot better than that.
Post # 10
Is this a semi-arranged marriage? Did you meet on a matrimonial site by any chance?
Post # 11
I knkow it’s painful, but he doesn’t want to marry you. He likes you, he may even love you, but marriages need more than love to be successful. For whatever reason, you aren’t the person for him. There is nothing *wrong* with you. You just aren’t the *right* person for *him*. There is someone else out there who will not only love you, but also want to marry you.
You have built up many dreams about him and your life together. Break up with him, but take time to mourn the loss of the dream.
Also, don’t go into “I just have to figure out what is wrong with me and fix it, then everything will be okay” mode. (Read the book ‘He’s just not that into you’) When you are with the right person, you won’t have to ‘fix’ anything. He will love you for who you are, just the way you are.