(Closed) My boyfriend wants to chose my engagement ring AND wedding band??!!

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
6750 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think you need to ask him first to confirm that’s what he intends.  Otherwise, it sounds like you’re asking for his opinion and he’s giving it to you.  Your words were that it “seems like he will only be willing to let me get one that he likes.”

Also, I just think that you should wait until you get your ering.  Perhaps he doesn’t like any of the ones you’re picking out b/c they won’t match.  See what your ring looks like, then decide what you want.  If you want something and he doesn’t like it and says no, just say – well, yes. 

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

DH picked out both my e-ring and wedding band, but we also discussed it very openly beforehand.  He also wanted me to have final say in his wedding band.  I guess some guys see it very much as a gift to the other person, but it strikes me as odd that he would want to give you a gift he knows you don’t like…

Post # 5
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Do you also get to pick out his wedding ring?  Personally, I think that you should each get to choose your own wedding ring, but schools of thought on this are going to be different depending on who you ask, and perhaps it also depends on who is paying.  I bought my husband’s wedding ring but I still let him choose it, and vice-versa, but other guys might feel that if they’re paying, then they get the say.  If you’re both paying for the wedding rings, then I think you should both be allowed to choose your own or choose each other’s.  If he’s paying for both of your wedding rings, then I’m not sure what to tell you there except that if you have no say in your engagement ring, it would be nice if he would at least let you have some say in your wedding ring since you must wear this ring for the rest of your life.  If he really loves you, he will want you to be happy.

As for the engagement ring… traditionally, yes, the guy does choose that, especially when he’s the one buying it, but it doesn’t HAVE to be that way.  My husband let me pick out my own engagement ring as well as the matching wedding band.  It sounds like you’re pretty happy with the custom ring, though. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My guy had my e-ring and wedding band made at the same time with no imput from me.  He had used his mom’s e-ring to make both my e-ring and wedding band, so I guess thats why I had no say in my wedding band.  BUT, he designed both really well, and I love them both!  I also love that I had no idea it was coming!

Post # 7
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

Mr. Otter chose my e-ring (based on my hints, haha) and there was a matching band. While I had made comments that I wanted a band made with rose gold, he knows me and knows I would’ve gotten bored with that, so instead he chose to get me the matching set. I’m fine with it! We looked together for his band and he ultimately picked that out as well. 

Like PPs said, I think you should discuss it with him and see if he believes he has to like it or if he’s simply sharing his opinion. 🙂

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