Post # 1
Yes, one of my bridesmaids will be 8 1/2 months the day of my wedding and I don’t know what to do. She is actually the only friend that will be one of my bridesmaids. I feel so bad because I told her the other day I would make her an "honorary bridesmaid" because I care a lot about her and I can’t even imagine having her stand and walk around when she could deliver in a matter of days. She will actually be due 3 weeks after the wedding. I think I made the mistake by addressing ahead of time, but my wedding is in Sept and every month I know she will get bigger but she doesn’t think she will…and I don’t know why!!!
I have asked my friends who have children and what did they think of the situation and they said, I should just wait for her to decide what she wants to do. I’ve already picked out the dresses I want my bridesmaids to wear and I’m wondering if I should change them? I just feel so bad because of the way I addressed her about it. I’m just a concerned friend and just want her to be as comfortable as possible. I can see if she is 5 or 6 months but she will be 8 1/2. The funny thing about well it shouldn’t be funny but she mentioned that one of her friends didn’t gain that much weight so she probably won’t gain that much weight. Everyone is different and I told her well you may not gain that much weight but by 8 1/2 months you will have definitely expanded lol. But hey what do I know lol
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want her to tell me at the last minute, then again I don’t want to say anything because I know right now she is very emotional.
Post # 3
I would let her decide, however if you are set on your dresses then just be honest with her. If she is a true friend, she will understand.
Post # 4
Could you find a dress in the same color what would fit her and be more flattering? Knowing she’ll be that far along, I’d suggest playing it by ear, and on the day of the wedding she needs to drop out, then so be it and make sure she knows you want her to set up front with your family. Not all BMs need to be front and center with you. Talk to her about all the options she has and let her help make a decision.
Post # 5
I agree with letting her decide. But remember that she might change her mind either way. And that she only wants you to be happy ! There are some amazing maternity dresses out there now , could y’all find something that is in your color that she could wear even if she was not part of your wedding party?
btw I think it’s great thet you are doing what you can to not upset her or hurt any feelings , I know it’s a very important time for both of you and I think by showing your concern it shows what a good friend you are = D
Post # 6
I’m kind of in the same boat as you. My sister, one of my bridesmaids will be 6 1/2 months pregnant at my wedding. We already ordered the dresses in November before we knew she was pregnant. It was a happy surprise 🙂 Anyways, We are going to see if the tailor can do anything with the dress to make it fit her, if not we’ll try to get her a maternity dress (Alfred Angelo has a couple). I’m not really concerned about it. If she decides she’s not up to the task, I’m ok with having an uneven number of bridesmaids/groomsmen.
Let your friend decide what she wants to do, even if she isn’t fit to walk down the aisle, you can reserve her a spot in the front pew and she can wear the same color as your other bridesmaids.
Post # 7
I’m literally in the same boat as you! One of my best friends and bridesmaids is due less than 3 weeks after our wedding… not to mention the fact that two of my other bridesmaids are trying which could mean I end up with 3 (out of 5) pregnant bridesmaids!
I’m letting the girls pick their own dresses in our colour so I’m not really concerned about that…I’m mostly worried about her standing (like you said). We’ve just figured she’ll walk down the aisle and then sit down in the first row (along with any other pregnant bridemaids at the time). And we’ve already said in the case that she delivers early or doesn’t feel well, she’ll wear the dress and sit up front (or won’t come at all) but will still be a bridesmaid 🙂 (like Deonise said). After all it was more about honouring her as a phenomenal friend than about whether she could waddle or walk down the aisle.
Good luck! Hope it works out for you (and the mommy-to-be)
Post # 8
I had the same concerns when I got married last year. As it turns out, 2 ouf of 7 of my bridesmaids were pregnant during our wedding! One girl was approximately 8 months pregnant by the time our wedding came. Luckily, she found out days before we bought the dresses. I was so concerned that she’ll stand out, especially since the dress we were going to buy was a tight form fitting one. Nonetheless, she still wanted to be part of the wedding, despite being late into her pregnancy. Since it was ok with her, then it was also ok with me – I would rather have her in my wedding standing out, than losing her as a friend because I was so concerned about the "look" of my wedding.
I still wanted the initial BM dress style I had picked out. And that was ok with my friend, but we did buy a dress that was double her current size (supposedly, they grow 3-4 dress sizes bigger). A week and a half before the wedding, she went to ther seamstress who fitted and altered her dress in time for the wedding – and it turned out really cute. She was sooooo pregnant by the time of the wedding, but looked "sexy" since she showed off her bump with the form fitting dress.
Likewise, my other BM didn’t find out about her pregnancy until many months after we bought the dress. By that time, it was too late to order another dress. So she found the same fabric as the dress, and her seamstress altered the dress. At first I didn’t like the idea of altering the back of the dress, but since it’s too late to buy a dress, I had no choice but to agree with her. BM #2’s seamstress managed to make the dress alteration unnoticeable and kept the design and form of the dress as the other non-pregnant BM.
At the end, everyone I wanted to be in the wedding participated. Some may have been pregnant, but it made it more memorable that they were able to be part of our wedding. And the 2 BMs didn’t stand out too much from the other BM at all, since everyone was wearing the same thing, keeping with the dress theme of the wedding. Then again, I made sure they weren’t given too many responsiblities on the wedding day, since I didn’t want them too feel tired during the wedding day. Don’t stress about it, let your friend decide for herself and if she still wants to do it, then she has to keep her obligations to you.
Post # 9
My sister is my MOH and she will be 7 months pregnant at the wedding, and I couldn’t be any more excited. She and her husband have been trying for years to get pregnant and after many failed attempts, they decided to try infetro-fertilization. At the time that we picked out the bridesmaid dresses we knew it was possibility that she would be pregnant at the wedding. Therefore, we picked out dresses that could be easily transformed into a maternity if need be. We talked with the store and found out that it is a common occurence and that we should just order her dress 2 sizes up and we ordered extra fabric just incase we need to add a little around the belly. We are having her wear flats, so she will be a little more comfortable.
Post # 10
I was MOH in my best friend’s Texas, outdoor wedding in July (think 100 degrees) and was almost 8 months pregnant. We wore black dresses, so that was simple and a non-issue. The ceremony wasn’t too long and I stood through it – as far as the other stuff, the bride was super understanding and I did all I could – I sat when I needed to, went indoors when I needed to, etc.
I think if you let her decide, it’s very possible she’ll still want to be up there with you and that way she can dictate what else she can handle and what she can’t.