if she's comfortable..... Then let it go! If she pops out that's her problem/embarrassment but at this point there's nothing you can really do or say because you gave them the reigns.
i let my girls pick their dresses because they are all different shapes and sizes and wanted them to be comfortable. They ended up picking a dress, although nice, I would have never picked, but I just had to deal with it
If i were in her position, I would want to be told if something looked bad on me. Sounds like she chose a dress that doesn't work for her body type. Can the seamstress add coverage to the top?
Your her friend! Let her know that her cups runneth over!
If I were you, I'd try to be a little more tactful about it than that..lol.
Can you say something about it, and then suggest that she wear a bra with a coordinating lace bandeau to cover her up a little?
One of my bridesmaids is a DD and another other is a J (my other two are C's I believe) so I think we will be looking for some supportive dresses as well! I think my reaction would depend on HOW MUCH she was spilling over. My J bridesmaid just can't help a lot of clevage. Its just happens. :)
As a bride with a 34DD bust, I asked for opinions from EVERYONE who has seen me in my dress if they think I'll be okay without a bra. And honestly, I'm not worried about it. However, I asked for honesty from each of them. I would rather someone tell me what they think to save me the embarassment of flashing all of the guests at the wedding.
Just let her know your concerns. She's in your bridal party, chances are you are close enough to talk about avoiding potential wardrobe malfunctions by doing a few modifications or wearing some extra support. I wouldn't see that as offending anyone. Heck, I think you'll be doing her a favor!
What all of you are suggesting makes sense. My biggest concern is that the dress won't "hold her up" as much as she needs it to - I'm not worried about how the amount of cleavage appears per say (the fact that she was "spilling out" just really showcased how the bodice didn't really fit or suit her. I'm expecting her to start to lose support and prehaps "sag" (sounds mean), or to bounce out - I'm afraid SHE'LL feel uncomfortable, and people might think I forced her to wear this dress that she feels miserable in. For some reason, because it's for my wedding, I feel responsible.
@occhimusicali: Tell her EXACTLY what you just told us! Honestly, if it's as bad as you say it is, she'll be thanking you for not having a Janet Jackson moment at the reception.
@PacificMrs: I will! I guess I didn't realize how unaware she probably is that it's not the best fit.
Does anyone have any ideas for what we could add or have a seamstress do? I should pay for any additional alterations, right?
Thanks ladies!
Don't feel obligated to pay for extra alterations that are required to keep her girls in. It's her body, you're just saving her from having a wardrobe malfunction. I say it is still her responsibility, though some people may disagree on that.
Have the seamstress add some cups with wire on them for support. That should help a lot :) I'm lucky in that my dress has an amazing corset on it. That's the only reason I don't have to get anything done, but I do know that wire cups help us more "blessed" ladies.
As a hefty DD+ girl myself, I'm surprised she picked this one out of all the dresses there. I'd never go with a backless dress myself but to each their own! can she get one of those low back bra's?
@Vandykins: I was pretty surprised too. She's younger (20), so she may still be experimenting with different fits and styles. The dress doesn't fit like in the picture at all...the top sits very low on her bust, and it's held together with merely fabric.
Maybe she just love the shoes. Or she happen to have no shoes to wear. So i suggest that you can ask her that every thing is ok?
As a larger busted girl myself, I say that she might have chosen this dress because she likes the style and doesn't want to be limited to what she can wear because of her boobs. Some girls resent having such a big chest and want to prove that they can wear the same styles as "everyone else," so to speak, especially if she is younger and isn't yet 100% comfortable with what her body looks like. I think as an act of friendship it would be generous of you to offer to pay for any extra alterations to help fit the dress. It is quite possible that your friend does see how unflattering/not a good fit the bust is but doesn't want to say anything because she can't afford to get it fixed or is worried there is nothing anyone can do and doesn't want to be a problem of needing to find a totally new dress so soon before the wedding. Please be honest with her in a tactful and sensitive manner since I think it is important as her friend that you help her avoid any potential embarrassment and are honest with her.
Is she oblivious to dress styles and proper support? If so, I would definitely tell her.
Is she generally aware of these types of things? If so, she's aware of the risk and is ok with it. If YOU are worried about what may happen, then you should say something.
A seamstress should be able to affix a very low-backed bra to the inside of the dress without the edges of the bra showing. Unless it's a fully backless dress, there should be a bra somewhere that will give her support without showing. Ask her to go back to the seamstress to ask how much rise she has to work with, then shop online for a bra. You can compare the rise (measurement of the back of the bra) online.
I'd rather be told I was going to spill out then have that embarrassment at the wedding. Why can't she buy a low back bra? Or a low back converter? Something is better than nothing.
I saw a cool trick on Pinterest once where the girl used bra extenders and some elastic to pull the back of the bra lower so it would be below the back of the backless dress.
(I looked it up and found it :) here's the link: http://www.tightsandtea.com/2012/03/diy-5-minute-low-back-bra.html)
I agree with PPs....you would be doing her a favor.
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I have five BMs in my wedding, and I had them pick different styles of chiffon dresses in champagne from LightInTheBox.com. I'm having a pretty laid-back wedding, and didn't particularly feel right delegating the process of picking BM dresses - I trusted all of their judgement. One of my girls has a 36DD bust, and for obvious reasons never goes without the support of a bra (in public anyway). She chose a very low-backed dress ( I can't copy the link on my Kindle). It was slightly big when it arrived, so she had it altered. She told me the seamtress alterered the bodice tightly enough so that she wouldn't need a bra, but I'm not so sure. When she tried it on for me, her chest was practically spilling out of the top, and I have a feeling as the night goes on, it will loosen up a bit, and it won't offer her the support she needs. What should I do? Let it go? With my wedding in three months, I doubt we have time to replace it, and I really don't want to offend her. Thoughts?