Post # 1
So I had my first and hopefully only bridezilla moment this afternoon. My FH and I were at Michaels looking for inspiration to do our STDs. Our wedding colors are black, white, and green. The green is causing all of the problems! He wants more of a Christmas color dark green (ew.) and I want something more along the lines of apple. Its hip. its trendy, its Spring… I dont want Christmas green in Spring.
Anyway, so I came home with two separate pieces of cardstock: one my green, one closer to his, and made two separate mock ups of our STDs. WELL.. he #1 hated the apple green and #2 HATED the idea of using stamps. Basically, what is going on is that he is telling me didn’t like my ideas, BUT wouldn’t offer any of his own. UGH!!
So, my already pissy mood ignited with his lack of positive contribution turned me into a bridezilla. and I hate myself for it. I took all of the supplies I had just bought and chunked them into the trash and told him if he couldn’t handle me doing this then he should f-ing do it all by himself. It was awful.
I cooled down in the other room, and we finally talked about it and were actually extremely productive in the end, but I still hate that I freaked out like that. On the surface, it was about the stupid green color that we have been debating since we picked it, but underneath I am a little perturbed that he cares that much to help but won’t help productivly.
Someone please remind me that I should be happy he wants to help/that he cares… because I don’t want to have another moment like that again!
Post # 3
You should only be happy that he wants to help if he’s really helpful! If he’s just saying no without any constructive comments, I really don’t blame you! 🙂 I would have chunked the supplies at my husband’s head. I don’t aspire to not freak out though, ever. LOL
Just remember in the end, a wedding is not worth it if you want to kill each other when you’re married. Pick your battles!
PS~ go to Snippet and Ink and look at her black, white and APPLE green boards and show him a few. You are totally right on that. Or get paint chips and show him different options. Most men need something more concrete then just words to imagine things. Good Luck!
Post # 4
I started out with the same colors! I’ve ended up loosening up on using strictly black, white (or ivory), and apple green, and now I’m aiming for more of a “natural” green. Like the color of flower stems. Maybe it would help if you guys could compromise on the color of green? I’m growing a lot of wheat grass for our reception, and it’s become the main green component.
Aside from that, I don’t blame you, either. I know how it feels to be pouring all of your energy in to something that your FI seems to either not care about or disagree with.
I imagine that he doesn’t realize that you’ve spent nights laying awake and envisioning your wedding colors, but I can assume that his suggestions were much more “spur of the moment”, so to speak. But as soon as my FI realized how much thought I had put in to everything, he accepted that our weddings aesthetic was much more important to me than it was to him. I hope that your fiance ends up feeling the same way, while managing to stay involved. 🙂
Post # 5
Good luck…this is just the beginning!!
Post # 6
My suggestion is that you move onto another color you can both agree on.
A shade of blue, purple…something else.
A wedding color is not worth constant contention. Sometimes you have to step away and view the big picture and the importance level of certain things compared to others.
Post # 7
I am sorry about your bridezilla moment. You should be happy he is trying to help but I don’t think it is asking too much that he be productive as you say, and if he vetos and idea, then come up with an alternative he likes or at least another idea you can build on.
I will tell you this. I have had a mother of a time trying to find the perfect green to accent my lavender/eggplant colors. Green is a hard color to pinpoint. There are so many shades! And some not very flattering, becoming or wedding-like. Good luck with finding your shade. I think I finally pinpointed mine, but even so its is pretty hard to really stick to that. All my accents are “around” that green but not exactly.
Post # 8
These are the moments we will look back and laugh at…hopefully!
Post # 9
Sorry that happened. I agree with Fiya. Take a step back and see if you guys can come at this from a completely different angle. Is there another accent color where you two can agree on a shade? Is there something completely different that you’d prefer? In the broad scheme of things, the colors you pick set a tone, but the actual shade of green won’t make or break your wedding. I always say that done right, anything can work!
Best of luck! Be sure you let fiance know how much you appreciate him!
Post # 10
Ouch. I think that has happened to all of us – the frustration of not being able to communicate why FI’s half baked idea is going to “ruin the wedding”! Do tell your fiancé that you appreciate him, his help, his input, his interest. Then have a conversation about how the two of you are going to work on the wedding *together* and what that is going to look like.
Post # 11
Thanks for the advice girls… We are too far gone to change from green… but I like the idea of going and getting wall paint chips… I feel better!
Post # 12
Don’t feel bad, I think we’ve all freaked out a bit more than we anticipated when we didn’t expect to. I’ve noticed that when he doesn’t like one of my ideas that I’ve worked hard on, it REALLY upsets me.
He tries to be more constructive when he tells me that he doesn’t like something and I have tried to calmly tell him why what he is saying bothers me. Honestly, it’s still not perfect and we are taking it one project at a time.
One think that has helped a bit is that he has seen the end result of a few projects. He didn’t love my STD idea until it was finished and he thought our invitations would look crappy until I showed him the finished product.
Post # 13
I’ve freaked out at least twice during my planning, so don’t feel bad. I would have been mad too, so don’t beat yourself up about it. I second fiya’s advice. Pick a color you BOTH love!
Post # 14
Oh goodness! Don’t worry … there will be a few more of these and it’s okay! We never fought when dating but the minute we got engaged we started having crazy fights! When we were supposed to go and tell his family that we got engaged we got into a wicked fight and I was in bed, under the covers, crying and refusing to even go! We eventually had one big argument about all the little arguements and aired out that we were both stressed about the wedding and all the comprising. And we havent’ had an arguement since!
So again, it’s fine and you guys are fine! You will laugh about this and probably have a few more!
Post # 15
I know exactly what you are talking about! Just last night I showed my honey an idea for a cake topper that I thought would be unique, inexpensive, and easy. He immediately made a face before I had a chance to explain my vision and said no. Oooo I was peeved. After a few moments of silence, I let him know that when I show him an idea, it means I already like it, so if he doesn’t like it he needs to say so in a more constructive way rather than just shooting it down outright.
After discussing what my thinking was, and finding some different examples to show him, we finally compromised on a style that worked better with his aesthetic.
Long story short, I find I am much more sensitive to criticisms (or perceived criticisms) regarding the wedding than I would be in normal life. I think my expectations are high, and I worry about not letting people down, so I invest much more and take a lot of it more personally than perhaps I should .
Post # 16
Sometimes it takes a little creativity lol. Tell your FI tonight how sorry you are over the green fight and that you don’t want to fight anymore so you’ve decided to go black white and hot pink. I’ll bet when he starts thinking of pink shirts, ties, etc he starts liking your green:)