My brother is sitting outside, drunk.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That’s so sad 🙁 He needs help. Do you think he realizes that he has a drinking problem? If he’s seeing a mental health professional they can provide resources if they know about it.

Post # 4
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

He sounds like he has an alcohol problem. My step mum was an alcoholic and sadly there is very little you can do to help until the alcoholic admits it to themselves. Sadly my step mumwas never able to admit it. My dad did however find that a lot of alcohol support groups and charities offer support, help and advice to people in yours and your parents situation. Also, I am assuming that if your brother doesn’t think he has a problem he may not have told his therapist about the drink.  Is there anyway anybody can contact the therapist to make them aware?  I’d like to think a good therapist would then be able to help without necessarily letting on that they were contacted about it.

Post # 5
Member
4918 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would recommend you go to an al anon meeting.  They’re for family & friends of problem drinkers.  

Post # 6
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

MrsBlackCat:  sassy411:  I second the AI anon meeting for family members. It will help you communicate with him and will give you tools on how you can help him. It will also help you with dealing with your own issues related to his drinking. 

Post # 7
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

MrsBlackCat:  

1. Your parents need to lock up their booze so he no longer has access to it.  If he breaks the lock then it would be a good idea to take the collectibles somewhere else for safekeeping.

2. Violence is never allowable.  HIs welcome wore out the moment he started getting agressive or violent with family.

3. Definitely check out Al-anon for support.  Right now you and your parents are enabling him to act this way by not making treatment his only option.  It’s tough but with the help of Al-anon you can figure out how to really help him or distance yourself from his behavior.

4. Make getting treatment his only option if he wants to remain living with family.  Until it’s his only option, he is most likely not going to accept any treatment.

Post # 8
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON

My sister is a closet alcoholic! She stays up all night by herself and drinks and plays Zynga poker! She does this every single night and then she sleeps all day. If she goes out for dinner she will not drink even if others do because she prefers to drink later at night. She doesn’t really think she has a problem because when she wakes up she doesn’t crave a drink. She has around 7-9 beers every single night and she has been doing this for at least 4 years now. She has a bf and he doesn’t nag her about it or try to help her because he feels she is an adult and can do what she wants! She says if/when they get married and if they decide to have a kid, she will have a reason to stop. I don’t think my sister will ever be able to have kids because I don’t think she can stop drinking, she is just wasting her life away. I want to help her but I don’t know how! I may go to an al anon meeting to see if they can give some advice. I have an Aunt who passed away at 52 due to drinking every day, I don’t want this to be my sister’s fate!

Post # 9
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON

MrsBlackCat:  Alcohol can do bad things to people! Some people just can’t handle it and should not be drinking. I am sorry you are going through this.

Post # 10
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

You said he was on anti-depressants, and it sounds like he is self-medicating with alcohol to deal with his depression and/or other issues. Other than trying to reach out to him and suggest he get help, there’s not much you can do for him until he decides he wants to do something for himself. I second the al-anon meetings for you and your mother. I’m sorry you are going through this–it seems like he is very unhappy with his life and is dealing with that unhappiness by drinking. Alcoholics and people suffering from depression will push their loved ones away because of the guilt and shame. Just let him know you’re there when he’s ready to change–as hard as it is for you to see him like this, he has to be the one to decide to change his own life or it won’t happen. 

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