Post # 1
So, first it was just mildly irritating when my brothers fiance decided to get engaged 3 weeks after she found out that we were getting married. We all figured wouldn’t last since she’s so young and it is her second marriage and she can’t seem to decide what she wants. Then she decides that she wants the same EXACT color combo for her wedding as we had picked. Now I’m finding out she has also decided on the same theme and wants all our ‘leftovers’ so she can decorate…
This is pretty rude is it not? How do I explain that I don’t want to have her plan a knockoff event to my own? How do I show her that this may be overstepping some bounds??
Post # 3
1) Stop telling her (or anyone who might tell her, like your brother or your mom) your plans for your wedding. If they complain tell them you want them to be surprised
2) Tell her she can’t have your left-overs (make something up. you just borrowed them yourself, they are rented, you promised them to someone else already, etc)
3) remember that at least your wedding is first.
This isn’t really worth starting a fight over because you two will be family forever. But I’d just block her attempts by refusing to help her recreate your wedding.
Post # 4
Stop telling anyone what your ideas and plans are. She can’t copy what she doesn’t know.
Post # 5
hmm, yeah, that is kind of irritating, but look at it this way… You’re going first!!! She might be doing all the same things you are but after you are doing it, so you can still feel that you have created an original vibe.
If it is still bothering you too much to let it go, try looking on the internet and finding some awesome things that you AREN’T using that might entice her to sway in another direction, even if only slightly. Might save the trouble of a fight.
If all else fails, just try to be honest with her. Are you two close, or is this something you can express to your bro instead?
Good luck girl!
Post # 6
I wouldn’t worry about it.
She’s the one who will look like an idiot in front of all of her guests when they’re all thinking, “gee…weren’t we just at this wedding?”
Post # 7
First of all her wedding is after yours, so it won’t in any way taint your day. Maybe she just really loves your taste and knows your wedding will be better than anything she could come up with on her own. Maybe money is tight and it will be less expensive to re-use whatever you have left over. Maybe she’s just lazy. It’s all what you make it – you can choose to be bothered by it or you can choose to be flattered by it. I would choose to take it as a form of flattery, and I’d be glad that my hard work and ideas were used in more than one wedding.
Post # 8
@reebee: I think you are right! She is just lazy. I’ve decided to sell all my decorations on ebay after the ceremony to recoop some of the cost. Therefore, if she wants to go through the trouble to “buy” them I won’t feel so bad. Afterall, my wedding is first and the best she can hope for is a knockoff… Thank you all for the advice!