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ok, first of all breathe.....
The economy does suck, and I am also prone to a little freak out here and there about spending such a big chunk of money for 5 hours (we're also spending around $30,000 although I wanted to only spend $20,000).
The prices for your florist, photgrapher, videographer, dj and dress are pretty much exactly what mine were, and are very reasonable. We're spending $16,000 for our venue that includes the food, alcohol, tables etc. for 200 ppl. Outside of that we rented a trolley for the wedding party $800, $700 for paper items, $600 for cake, $900 for ceremony location fee, $400 for ceremony muscians, $500 wedding bands, $1000 for weding party gifts and favors, $300 for veil, $300 for hair and makeup. We're also considering whether to spend the ridiculous $5/person chair covers, and better table linens than the ones provided by the venue.
The catering does seem a little high for only 150 ppl, but when you do a wedding setup with a separate venue and separate catering service that has to bring in all of the elements (linens etc.) that is to be expected.
Honestly, there probably isn't much you can change now without loosing your deposits, so if you think you will enjoy the mansion set up, I wouldn't change it. You could consider talking to your caterer about ways to cut back, ie. different menu options, maybe forgo seat covers or something, do a wine and beer only bar, etc. to save a little money.
My fiancee and I are countering our stress over spending such a large chunk of money (1/2 from my parents, 1/2 by us) by setting aside more of our own money for a house downpayment. We have two different savings accounts in ING labeled Wedding and House, so that we are mentally setting aside money for each category.
No matter what, just make sure you enjoy that day, and let go of the dollar signs dancing in your head. Remember that you do get gifts that offset a lot of the wedding costs and you can use that money to plan for the future.
I love budget conversations. In the "real world" people are so hesitant to talk about wedding budgets. In fact, I had no idea how expensive weddings were until I got engaged. At that point, my cousin, who had just gotten married, sent me her budget spreadsheet and I was shocked!!!!!
All of the info that I've read says that your food/location budget should be about 40-50% of your budget. In your case, that would be $15000. You're over that ($4200 for rental plus $17500, comes out to $145 per person), but you are under the recommendations elsewhere. Your music, photog/videog, florist, paper (invites/save the dates, postage) and dress/tux budgets should all be about 10%. Your photog/videographer is a little over that, but the rest (florist, DJ, invites, dress) are all under that.
I think that everything can fluctuate soooo much. My photographer is really high ($4500, without a videographer- I have to book the videographer separately), so I'm trying to come under with the florist. My DJ is reasonable ($1500).
I think the best thing for you to do is sit down and figure out what else is left that you need to do, and how much that will cost you.
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OK, so I am also a bride who is over budget! I found that as I was making wedding decisions, I kept thinking, "Well, having this DJ is worth an extra $400 to me...Having this dress is worth an extra $200 to me...Having this photographer is worth an extra $500 to me..." While each independent decision didn't seem like that big of a deal at the time, they sure did add up quickly!!!
Now, it's too late to back out of things w/o losing my deposits, so I figure I might as well enjoy things and focus on how wonderful my wedding will be instead or on how I could have done things differently. Here's what I'm telling myself: Yes, it is a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of my life, it's not going to make or break anything. Plus, there are other areas in our lives where we could make up for going over budget - maybe we buy less expensive cars in the future or skip big vacations for a while.
Now, if you're going into serious debt over your additional wedding expenses, please forget my above statements because they would be totally irresponsible! In that case, you may want to seriously look at your contracts and work with your vendors to see if there's anything you can do to decrease the costs of the wedding. Otherwise, I say, relax...try not to focus on the numbers, and enjoy your day!
I am personally not feeding my guests an entire meal. I am having just having a cake and punch with a few finger foods. Do you have to have a bar included? That can get rather expensive and theres a small chance some of the guests might drink a little too much. Or are there different foods you could choose so it isnt so high?
Also, its up to you, but how often are you going to sit down and watch your wedding? Is it worth having a videographer?
On your flowers, is there any way you could maybe have some of the bigger arrangements be silk flowers? Or what about combining some silk and some real? If you are throwing a bouquet, I would recommend that to be silk, so it last longer and isn't as expensive.
Either way, sounds like its going to be a beautiful wedding :)
Thank you all!
You've been so understanding and you have made me feel a ton better...
As far as the caterer is concerned just so you could see I'm not completely crazy...
There were a choice of 6 caterers we could use (the small print that would have been a smart thing to read...) they were the cheapest. Of that $117pp only 44 of it is for the meal including all apps and cake. And 17 is an open bar (my dad said he won't pay for a wedding that doesn't have an open bar...) That means $56 is just the rentals, labor and service charges. (All the cheapes rentals too...no chair covers or anythign....) Thats were they getcha...
That silk arrangement idea is so smart!
Linzella...Thats how I ended up with all of our vendors! Its definitely not the smartest way to go about planning a wedding :o)
Thanks again!
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So my dream of having a small simple weddiing on the water, something casual and fun maybe a clambake has been blown away. (The joys of having a mom who ran off to Vegas for her wedding.) My wonderful father has graciously given us an allowance of $30,000 for our wedding with whatever we don't use we keep kind of thing. I was hoping before I was even engaged I could pull of a wedding for around $10,000....remember I wanted simple. I'm under 7 months from our wedding...save the dates have gone out...and we're over $30,000 already. I want to vomit. My small casual clambake of a wedding has turned into something entirely different. I'm getting married in a freakin mansion for god's sake! A place my mom really wanted me to get married at. And lucky for her the only place my fi also liked. (I keep telling myself that its his wedding too...)
The enconomy blows right now and i'm having a hard time with knowing $30,000 is being spent for a total of about 5 freakin hours!
I keep telling myself the day will be beautiful but how beautiful is that kind of money. Personally I think it looks better in my bank account!
I know a lot of people spend way over that for their wedding. But I just didnt' want to be one of them. Thanks to theknot.com and my budget calculator I see what they thought I should spend and what I'm actually spending. I've done some stuff cheap but others not so much... so my question to you all now is this: what are you all spending on different things?
This is where my money went:
Rental of the mansion: $4200 (includes tent, tables, chairs, ceremony site.)
Catering: $17,500 for 150 ppl. (Its a buffet. Also includes all the flatware, linens, glasses, bar, cake, everything...Is that high????)
Florist: About $2000
Photographer: About $3000
Videographer: $1000
DJ who is now doubling as ceremony musician: $1200
Dress without alterations: $800
Minister: $450
Invitations I'm making by hand. We're paying for the favors and limos and all....
Thanks!
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