My child's Father's text leads to argument (NWR)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3889 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You do need to apologize. You’re supposed to be raising the child with some respect for her father, even if he is not perfect, and this would include calling him on Father’s Day. Since the child is too young to remember the day on her own, you have to guide her.

Post # 4
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yup, you should apologize.  She should call her dad on father’s day.  She will not learn that these things are important unless you teach her.  It’s not about the two of you, it’s about her relationship with her father.  I don’t necessarily agree with his approach but can understand why he is upset.

Post # 5
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

well i see both sides, i dont think you need to apologize, however i see how you shouldve let her call since she cant do it on her own yet, but if he was so bothered hes a grown man and couldve called as well. he went out of town and couldnt see her he still couldve called. i think you guys just need better communication.

Post # 6
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I agree that you should apologise, he should have been able to talk to his daughter on Father’s Day, and it should have been her/you to call, as it was Father’s Day. However he shouldn’t have asked her about it as she is just 6. She will only learn these things from you two. So you should have told her it was Father’s Day and to call him.

Post # 7
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@fishbone:  

@NJmeetsBX:  

@CarpefnDiem:  

@Jacqui90:  

I can see your points that she should guide the kid and remind her to call.. but..

Second, she told me that she and her nana already gave him a gift, card, and wished happy Father’s Day to him on the last night I was at work.”

Is he really upset because it wasn’t the actual DAY that his daughter spoke to him? I’m all for apologizing if the above didn’t happen… but it did. Some people go out on the Saturday before Father’s day and have their celebration then. Should the fathers then be upset that it didn’t happen on that particular Sunday?

Post # 8
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Chrysoberyl:  oh i missed that part….yeah hes being a douche. she already acknowledged him…and to text at midnight smh…i wish my ex would try that

Post # 9
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Chrysoberyl:  @CarpefnDiem:  I stand by my opinion.  She, as her mother, made no effort to have the child acknowledge her father on father’s day.  That’s what this is about. He has a right to be upset.  It sets a bad example for the child that her mom doesn’t acknowledge her dad’s role in her life. 

ETA:  I don’t mean to say it is all on the OP.  He should have made the effort to spend the day with his daughter.  But, you can only control your actions, not others’.  This may be the first of many actions of his you disagree with.  He is still your child’s father and you should nourish that relationship the best you can.

Post # 10
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I think you are wrong. As a single parent of 2 myself, i make it a point to have my kids call their father every night before they go to bed to talk to him and tell him about their day and to say good night. He does the same in return when they are at his house.  It’s called respect.  It’s your responsibility as a parent to have your child call his/her dad on father’s day.  A 6 year old isn’t going to come up to you and say “It’s fathers day, let me call dad”.  I have a 6 year old.  They don’t know the day of the week half of the time and they aren’t going to know holidays.

It doesn’t matter where he is, or what he is doing…If he loves his child, he will take time out to answer a phone call, especially on Father’s Day, to speak to his child.  You knew all day what day it was.  I believe you are at fault. I’m on Dad’s side with this.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@NJmeetsBX:  Perhaps she mentioned to her daughter, “What do you want to buy for your daddy for father’s day?”

To which her daughter responded with, “Me and Nana did _____.”

If I got that response I’d think, “Okay good she got to talk to him.” 

Post # 12
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@rickhurst35:  If your child misses a nightly call, would you wait until midnight to text your ex, waking him up, to complain about it? 

I definitely see your point, but he didn’t have to be rude about it. He didn’t have to ask a six year old, “Why didn’t you call me?”

The kid doesn’t need that kind of guilt! 

 

Post # 13
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

@Chrysoberyl:  No, the kid doesn’t need that kind of guilt. That’s why you had all day to make sure that the child called his/her father to avoid that kind of “Why didn’t you call me?” questions towards the child.      

 

Post # 14
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Chrysoberyl:  “Me and nana” NOT her mother.  That is exactly my point.  She should see her mother acknowledge the day and the role her father plays in her life.  I feel that is important in teaching the child that while you may not be together you respect each other and the contribution you each make to your child’s development.  In my opinion, she blew off father’s day and let nana take care of it and I don’t think that’s cool. 

Post # 15
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@rickhurst35:  I don’t think it’s the OP’s fault that the father would sling that guilt trip at his own child.. Who is that punishing? The child!

Post # 16
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@NJmeetsBX:  Okay I see your point then. My parents are still together and I don’t think my mom has ever really put that much thought into it besides giving us money to buy something. Usually we had projects in school for mother’s father’s days. Maybe it’s just not as important in my family so I thought nothing of the OPs scenario

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