My classmate definitely threw me under the bus

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lalalyanne:  That was a terrible thing she did. I would tell her that if she didn’t go to the teacher and clear up the “misunderstanding” about the amount of work that you did, then I would. I would let her tell the prof that she was “just joking” or what ever she wanted to say as long as the facts were straightened out.

I do think, however, that you have to own some of the responsibility for not meeting. You suggested Sunday or Monday then made yourself unavailable both days. What did you do all day while your brakes were being fixed on Sunday? Could you not have met during that time? Or were you fixing the brakes yourself?

Then Monday, you went out of town (although around here 20 minutes wouldn’t even get you half way across town), so again I’m not sure how that prevented you from meeting all day.

I do empathize with your situation. I hated group projects all the way through school. There are always those students who are content to ride on someone else’s coattails.

Post # 4
7 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would just text her and say I don’t appreciate you talking about me, especially when they’re lies. I understand that you’re angry and have every  right to be. Just be thankful the class is over and enjoy your break. I wouldn’t email the teacher either. I’m not a fan of group projects for this exact reason. 1 person always does all the work and isn’t appreciated. 🙂

Post # 7
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Group work can really suck. I had one lab partner drop out mid semester without even telling me and it was one of those design your own research project labs, not a cookbook lab. My college required a lot of group work (some classes were taught in permanent 9 person groups) but they always had a team member evaluation at the end of projects so they could take into account contributions. Is your professor doing that?

A note on the Wikipedia as a source thing. I had one professor (who was teaching a graduate level course) use wikipedia as required class readings in lieu of a textbook. Professors have been changing their stance on wikipedia as a source lately, of course they prefer if you go to the wikipedia article’s sources, but most of mine encouraged it’s use as a jumping off point/topic overview.

Post # 9
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lalalyanne:  I feel ya! I had something similar happen to me, but worse. A girl I was friends in HS with had the same classes as me. So we would car pool because she didn’t have a car. I never asked for gas money or anything. We were actually pretty close. We had a group presentation for our college course. During this time, she started receiving her financial aid money. All of a sudden, she doesn’t know me. Starts acting distant with me. Weird, over financial aid money? So anyway, the day of our final presentation our entire group is a no show. It’s just her and I. Then there was another group that was short a person. She decided to join their group and leave me high and dry! I left class and talked to my professor after about the situation. Not our personal problem, but how she left me to do the presentation alone, while she joined another group. I passed with an A without doing the presentation anyways. Lol. Shady people, sorry you went through it too. 

I would just now ignore it and don’t worry about other people thinking badly about you of they listened to her complaints. Most likely they don’t care as much as you think and it will blow over. So don’t get too worked up about it. Just be yourself and people will see the real Her. 

Post # 10
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@lalalyanne:  I don’t think anything can be done now. If it was before the project was due, I would have emailed my partner and say (in a professional manner) that if she didn’t pull her weight, I would have to promtly inform the prof, not because I wanted to, but because it was fair. 

Or option number 2, I would have just informed her that if she didn’t pull her weight I would have to “drop out of the group” (hahah aka drop and do the project on my own, also hand it in with my name on it alone, and she would be left to join someone else or do it herself. 

This happened to me, and I decided that I had to actually do it all myself, the paper went into the teacher without my partners name on it, I did warn her (in a nice way)….


Post # 12
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Don’t you just LOOOOOVE group projects. I just got done with a group project where the members were assigned. I got stuck with a guy who does his part at the last minute and two girls who don’t give a crap about the class and put no effort into it. Fun times.

Post # 13
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@lalalyanne:  My peers got to rate us, but never got to actually determine our grade. That sounds like lazy grading on the professor’s part to me. I feel like sometimes univeristies forget that their students are their customers and when they pay as much as they do for courses they have certain expectations. Also it sucks that you are stuck in a cohort. If it were more like my university which is huge and having a class with the same exact people is highly unlikely I would worry less about clearing my name as a project partner. Since you are stuck with them I might say something, though I’m not sure how I’d phrase it diplomatically.

Post # 15
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Well i think you should talk to her.. Before class starts, when everyone is around. Just tell her you were hurt when you found out that she said so and so, while in reality you were the one that did everything, while all she did was get articles that couldn’t even be used. Keep calm while talking to her, and just point out the facts and tell her how surprised and hurt you were by her actions, while on the other hand you were keeping it together and not babbling about her (eventhough she deserves it) because you are so much better than this..

Good luck!

And congrats on doing great on the course:)

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