Post # 1
Ummmm ok so I’m about to post 3 times in a row because I haven’t been on in forever and I have questions for the Bees.
My best friend is in labor right now, and I was texting my cousin (who I’m pretty close with) about it. She is having a baby girl. 🙂 My cousin asked what they are naming her, and I told her they were keeping the name a secret so I was excited to find out what they chose when she is born TODAY :)))) Ok so here is how the rest of the conversation went:
Cousin: Will you tell me your name ideas when you guys get pregnant?
Me: Maybe, DH is opposed to telling anyone so I’d have to make him come around to the idea.
Cousin: Well, just so you know, if I have a baby girl, I’m naming her FirstName MiddleName (our grandmother’s name, we were very close with her, she died in 2012).
Me: Um, so that is kind of a problem because our favorite name is FirstName OtherMiddleName (middle name is my sister’s first name).
We went on to say if one had a baby girl first the other wouldn’t be mad, we COULD have matching names because we’re cousins, not sisters, and they may love having matching names. I was married in October and we are talking about having kids in 2016. My cousin is 4 years older than me, has a 2 year old boy and just went through a VERY nasty divorce so she may not be having any more kids at all, or at least not for several more years….but I feel kinda weird about this development!
What do you Bees think? Do you think it would matter if we picked the same name? I’m so neurotic now I’m worried if I find out I’m having a boy I’ll be bummed or something because I can’t ‘claim’ FirstName as a first name…. I’m such a weirdo.
ETA: “FirstName” is not the type of name that can be made into a nickname. It’s short.
Post # 3
I think it’s a little early to worry about it if neither of you are pregnant or planning for kids right this moment! Plus, minds can change down the road! I wouldn’t make this an issue now.
Post # 4
@TwoStatesBride: This is just one of those things that is “early bird gets the worm” lol. Don’t worry about it just yet, there’s a good chance that you’ll have a daughter before her since she’s not in a serious relationship/just got a divorce. That doesn’t mean she couldn’t have a fling and get pregnant but…that’s just stuff you can’t worry about. Have fun TTC in a few years!!
Post # 5
That sucks, but for now don’t let it get in the way of your relationship with your cousin. Who knows what will happen in the next few years, or if either of you will even have a baby girl?
Post # 6
@TwoStatesBride: In Greece it is a tradition that kids are named after their grandparents. My mother has 4 cousins named Maria and it’s not considered weird at all. I understand that this is happening in the states, but I highly doubt people would find it that bizarre, especially after you say Child is named after her great grandmother!
Post # 7
Of all the things to worry about, this would be pretty low on my list. If that’s what you want to name your daughter, go for it. Your cousin can make her own decisions. You can’t call dibs on a name. Especially if neither of you is pregnant! No reasons cousins can’t have the same first name. They’ll probably get different nick names.
Post # 8
@TwoStatesBride: I’m not going to lie, I thought this would be one of those “Oh man, this bee needs a reality check” posts when I clicked on it. WHAT A BREATH OF FRESH AIR! Lol, seriously. I think it’s great that neither of you are upset about this, particuarly now when there are no baby girls.
I think it’s totally fine to have the same name in a family. It’s a family name. Plus, look at how many families have something like “Mary Catherine, Mary Ann, Mary whatever.” It’s fine. You’ll just have to actually use the middle names.
FWIW, I’m kind of in this position. A few years ago we realized that my great grandpa (technically step, but this grandpa has been my “real” grandpa my whole life. he married my grandma before I was born. Her ex husband sucked and I’ve had little to no realtionship with him.) had the name Emmett. Both DH and I really love the name and thought it would be a great way to honor my grandpa’s special place in my life since we’re really close.
Well, I found out last summer that my grandpa’s son (step uncle) who is estranged from my family and hadn’t called or seen his dad in years named his second son “Emmett” when he was born over a year ago. I was sad for a moment, and then realised, “No, screw it. If we still want to use the name, we will. It’s a family name.” He has a legitimate reason to have used the name (Considering he’s so removed from my grandpa I don’t understand it, but whatevs), but so do I. It’s also very probable these kids will never even meet since I haven’t seen him in at least 10 years.
Sorry for the book.
Post # 10
Honestly I think it’s fine. My patents barely see their cousins anymore and I don’t have much of a relationship with my second cousins so it wouldn’t be that strange to have the same name.
Post # 11
It’s not a big deal. It’s not like your sister is using the same names. Although my aunt (married into our family) and her sister have sons with the same first names. One went by Joe and the other is Joseph. My grandmother and her sister used the same first names too, and my dad uses just his first name, his cousin, born 11 years later uses same first name + middle name.
My brother’s and first cousins al lhave the same middle name (grampa’s first name).
Post # 12
It’s okay to have matching names. Your name choice may change in a couple years so don’t make this an issue or concern now.
Post # 13
@TwoStatesBride: I have a girl name picked out that I am guarding under lock and key and only my FI and my Mom know.
It is possible that my sister will have another baby before I do but I already decided I am keeping that name! I told my Mom if she has two grandchilden with the same name she will just have to come up with nicknames.
Post # 14
@CurlyCue: that’s what I told my mom, I doubt I will change my mind but who knows, and DH may decide he hates it!
I don’t know if this changes anyone’s opinion, but this is a name that cannot be made into a nickname.
Post # 15
@Mrs.LemonDrop: I have two first cousins on my dad’s side named Emmett.They’re thirty years apart in age, and don’t see each other very often at all … so I guess it’s not that weird, but still, it’s not very often that you hear of cousins sharing the same name.
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
There is nothing that says cousins can’t have the same name. There are a lot of Edwards and Eddies in my dad’s family because they were named in honor of a grandfather and great-grandfather. That said, they can always use different nicknames at family events if it gets too confusing. Other than that, it’s just a matter of who has a daughter. Who knows? You may only have sons and never need to use the name at all.