My cousin didn't follow ettiquette for her wedding reception

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Blow it off and go out to dinner with some friends. Sounds like it would be a drama fest anyways. Be the bigger person. When family asks you later why you weren’t there, simply reply with “wasn’t invited”. It will catch up to her……

Post # 4
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you really expect a Wedding invitation from someone who has blocked you on Facebook and Twitter?

She may have committed a faux pas in deciding where to draw the line on invitations, but your Mom was equally rude sharing her feelings iin a public forum.

 

Post # 5
Member
441 posts
Helper bee

It is not actually an etiquette rule to invite in tiers. It is simply a thing that is often wise to do in order to avoid hurt feelings.

She did not violate etiquette, but she clearly did hurt some feelings.

Post # 6
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you and apparently your mom would be better off if you just deleted your Facebook accounts. Your cousin obviously doesn’t like you, and I don’t know why you were expecting a wedding invitation in the first place. You must have said or done something pretty significant to offend her enough to have her block you on all social media. If it truly was a matter of space limitations (which I highly doubt, based on the details you’ve given), I’d much rather have good friends at a wedding than family that I don’t like. Just being related to someone does not give you some kind of ultimate right to a wedding invitation.

Post # 7
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Ap2010:  Tiers is not an etiquette rule. I understand being hurt when you are not invited to something but if you had been blocked etc. from her facebook then obviously you were not on good terms? I would have been more suprised to receive an invitation in that instance?

Post # 9
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Where I came from I was raised that family always comes first, no matter how close or not close we are.

Unfortunately your cousin feels differently, and it’s her wedding. It’s understandable that your feelings are hurt, but you’re simply not that close to her so I can also understand why she decided not to include part of the family.

Post # 10
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t udnerstand the family comes first argument.  You’re saying that a third cousin is more important than a best friend known since birth?  Because I don’t believe that’s true.

Sounds like there are a lot of underlying issues here.  Cut her out and move on.

Post # 11
Member
3706 posts
Sugar bee

We’re doing the closeness gets the invitation thing, DNA doesn’t matter. So the 2 uncles the bride and groom have seen once and twice each, in the last 10 years, are not invited. Others on that “tier” are invited, some of which aren’t even attending. It’s nothing like weddings and funerals to split up families, but maybe they weren’t as “together” as everyone thought.

Post # 14
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

Ap2010:  While it is often reported on this site to be following “etiquette” there is no rule that says invitations are by tier.  Every single etiquette expert endorses inviting whomever you like, and that level of closeness is certainly more valid or at least equally valid of a critera to blood line.

Regardless of what your family has provided in the past, it is clear she doesn’t feel the same way about you, that you feel about her.  This is not impolite, though it is unfortunate.

She may have committed other offenses, but she has not been impolite on this case.

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