Post # 1
I am not close to my cousin, but I was still very upset when my Graandfather recieved an invitation to his wedding and I didn’t. I called my other 2 cousins and my anut and uncle to ask if they were invited and they also said they were not invited. My cousin is getting married in South Carolina 2 months before my wedding; we both live in Chicago. Maybe he thought that it would be too much for me to go to his wedding, considering I am getting married 2 months after he is. His wedding id going to be very lavish, he has lots of money. I am a more down-to-earth kinds girl and my wedding will be a fraction of the cost of his. Maybe he thinks that I just can’t afford it???? I say, let me be the judge of that (of that’s what he is thinking) or maybe his FI is rude and doesn’t care to keep the peace. He has a sister and I will be inviting her, she invited me to her wedding and I attended.
Long story short, would you invite him if he didn’t invite you? 1/2 of me says yes; he is my cousin. 1/2 of me says no; you have no respect, I don’t want you there and CLEARLY I don’t mean anything to you. Why should I want you at my wedding if I don’t mean anything????? Help bees!!!!!! Thanks! 🙂
Post # 3
The problem is, unless you speak with your cousin, you will never know why he didn’t invite you. Since planning a wedding, we all know how hard it can be to decide who to invite. If it were me, I would just think about if I were planning on inviting him before I found out I was not invited, and go with that. So if you were going to invite him, don’t like this change your mind. Who knows- maybe he wont even come.
Post # 4
Maybe your cousin is opting for a very private wedding, with only those close to him. Everyone should be able to decide who they are/aren’t inviting based on their own needs and wants. I don’t think you should not invite him because he didn’t invite you. That seems childish to me.
Post # 5
I’d invite him. Sounds like they aer having a small wedding if your aunts and uncles didn’t get invited.
Post # 6
@menobride: I agree with it being childish. He is still on the list; he was before he didn’t invite me and he is after I found out he didn’t invite.
I just wanted some opinions to see what you would do. I appreciate the responses.
Post # 7
Since your other cousins and aunt & uncle weren’t invited, I wouldn’t take it personally. If he is planning something lavish, he may not have had the budget to invite the whole family. If I were in that situation, then I’d go with just inviting my grandparents, too. (I have 18 cousins, plus the aunts and uncles that produced them, plus several children of those cousins…it can very easily double or triple your guest list when you start getting into extended family invites.) It’s really difficult to make those kind of decisions, and I’m betting he feels bad about it.
So – if you were originally going to invite him to yours, then definitely go ahead and still do it. Lucky for you that you can afford it!!
Post # 8
It sounds to me like maybe he was keeping the invited list small since your other cousins and aunt weren’t invited also. I don’t think he was trying to offend you or exclude you on purpose.
Post # 9
I have a huge family…huge. I can’t pick and choose people. It’s either everyone or no one. I have 24 cousins and they all have children. I have 14 aunts and uncles. I have a huge family. lol I can’t just not invite someone. I guess I have figured it out; I already did, but I wanted some 3rd party opinions. Thanks everyone.
Post # 10
I say if you can afford to invite him, do so. You end up with the upper hand in that case, because you were the bigger person. I am going through a similar situation, and that is how I chose to handle it 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 12
So I know this may be a bit far fetched, but it could be possible that your invite did not make it to you. Do you live in an apartment by chance? Maybe he messed up your zip code? I only say this because I sent my FI’s cousin a save the date back in October in Chicago from South Carolina (crazy coincidence) and I JUST got it back “return to sender” because her apartment number rubbed off when going through the mail. Just throwing that out there. I would still invite him though. Just my opinion.
Post # 13
What is your relationship with him? How often do you talk to him? Were the two of you close as children? What about the rest of his family, you say his sister was invited, what about his mom and dad or other siblings?
I think it is less about whether you were invited to his and more about will you be disappointed if he wasn’t there. If you consider him to be a relatively close family member and someone that you speak to and don’t normally have any qualms with I would still invite him. There may be a whole host of reasons why you did not receive an invitation to his wedding.
Post # 14
I think it would be a good idea to talk to him or his parents. If they say something like “It is a small wedding and we can’t invite everyone” than that I understandable and you could still invite him. If it is for other reasons, don’t bother inviting him.
Post # 15
You began by stating ‘I am not close to my cousin..’. This is the exact reason he didn’t invite you. Why bother inviting him either.
Post # 16
i’d still invite him. even if he doesn’t come, maybe he’ll send a present since he’s sitting on all that $$$ lol. inviting him makes you the bigger person.