(Closed) My cousin stole my dream wedding color scheme

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

Please take this with a grain of salt.

Oh dear goodness just pick a different color. You have no idea how annoying it is to have two brides bickering over their weddings.

Dont say anything about it, don’t talk to anyone about it, and most importantly, don’t go to her wedding and criticize everything she picks out for her wedding.

In both of your defenses, purple is an extremely common wedding color, especially in fall/winter.

Besides, maybe you’ll see a equally beautiful color combo and use it instead.

I always thought I’d pick red, black, and white, but now I’m thinking about shades of blush, gold, graphite, and pearl.

Post # 4
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m also using purple (more orchid-tone) for my wedding color and it is a very popular color at this time.  However, I would suggest using a similar palette if you’re still in love with plum.  For example, I’m surprising my guests by using seafoam green (my accent color) as the bridesmaid dresses and they’ll have purple bouquets.  I’ll have drowned orchids all over the reception with candles.  You can definitely play with shades or purple/plum and use a different accent color to set your theme apart for your future wedding from your cousin’s. 

Post # 5
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee

@tngirl92:  in 3 years no one will remember. Also, you have now learned an important lesson: keep your ideas to yourself. 

Post # 7
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you end up using plum or purple 2-3 years later, I guarantee you that not a soul at your wedding will remember that she used the same color at her wedding.  I bet SHE will barely remember.  It’s honestly one of the least important things about a wedding and definitely not something to be this upset about.

Post # 8
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@tngirl92:  While I understand that you are upset you need to take a moment and appreciate the fact that your wedding will likely be 2 years or more after your cousin’s.  Use her wedding as an opportunity to figure out what you do or don’t like about weddings.  My own wedding color eggplant has plum in it.  It’s a pretty common color.  

Want to hear 2 upsetting things? My fiancé and I were together for 3 years prior to the proposal and just a few weeks after our engagement my fiance’s brother proposed to his girlfriend of 10 months with an e-ring that is near identical to mine then they jumped us and got married this past August.  I was super annoyed for a while but you know what? Their wedding taught me several things about what I don’t want for my own wedding.  

Also, I bought my wedding gown two weeks ago and my good friend whose wedding is before mine (in May) sent me a pic of the wedding gown she purchased this past Sunday and guess what? It looks JUST like my gown.  Yes, I initially freaked out but I love my gown enough to appreciate someone else loving the design as well.

The universe is funny that way.  Cheer up.  When it comes time to plan your own wedding use plum.  If you love the color who cares what anyone else did for their wedding! Stay true to your vision!

Post # 10
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

A way that you can probably get over/tolerate this situation is by considering the fact that she probably picked the color because she likes it and not because she is out to get you. Just relax, her life most likely doesn’t revolve around doing things in order to make you jealous.

Post # 11
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tngirl92:  I don’t know your cousin well enough to decide if she is being catty, but I sincerely doubt that her color choice was a result of her feeling spiteful or catty towards you.  If you want to know the truth, it sounds to me like you are feeling a bit resentful that your cousin is at a stage in her life where she is ready to marry while you are not quite there yet.  If that is the case, I suggest you embrace your feelings but let go of them as well.  Your time will come!

Post # 12
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@tngirl92:  I agree with pp, I doubt your cousin was thinking of you when she picked her color scheme. It’s probably what she likes and wants.

Post # 13
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

@tngirl92:  that feeling will never go away, but if you absolutely must have purple, keep your eyes peeled at her wedding and try to come up with something that looks different. Trust me though, and take it from someone who got stuck(and still is stuck, they still whine about it to this day!!! Ergh!) between two brides that had too many similarities with their weddings, and it turned them both into hideous people that I kind of avoid now.

Post # 14
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

I wanna say one thing first: She was 3 when you were born. it’s common for young children to be jealous of newborns because of the attention they get. Not because she wasn’t the only girl anymore…

 

 

Second, you probably aren’t going to be getting married for a few years, and no one except MAYBE the bride will remember that she used plum. You could use it and pair it up with a different color… OR who knows, maybe by then you will want a different color?! For 3 years I was obsessed with crimson weddings, and my actual wedding is going to be green. Good luck, OP, but I think that her wedding doesn’t revolve around yours.

Post # 15
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I do understand your frustration.  And perhaps your cousin did choose the colours to spite you.  BUT you need to step back.  You’re not engaged. You’re not planning on getting married for another 3 years.  Even if you have been talking about it, you can’t call dibs on a colour and you can still use it in the future.  By the time you are actually planning your wedding you may have changed your mind.

Also: what she says >> @ArtDecoLisa

Post # 16
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you are reading too much into the situation. She clearly just likes plum as well. Would she really compromise her own wedding for the sake of picking a colour to annoy you? I also don’t see what’s wrong with you both using the same colour scheme.. The dresses will be different! Besides, your wedding is after hers so feel free to one-up her in every way 🙂 lol

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