- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
Soo, I’m really emotional right now. I like my dad’s girlfriend fiance (ugh) as a person, but not as my dad’s wife. Today is their two year anniversary. He took her out on an exciting trip and proposed – I’m not going into details just in case someone knows her/them on here because it was a pretty unique proposal. He says she makes him happy, but I know for a fact (he’s told me previously) that she pressured him into proposing and I bet she’ll now be pushing to get married sooner rather than later.
Here are some of the reasons why I’m upset about this situation:
She’s been married three times already, her last divorce was finalized about a year ago. She married her last husband after 2 weeks of dating. The year before she and my dad started dating (right after she left her last husband) she moved in with three separate men. She also moved in with my dad after exactly one month of dating. Those might not seem so bad on their own, but she has two little boys that she’s been dragging along on her wild ride. They are 6 and 8 now.
A month after she moved in with my dad, and two months after they started dating, she quit her job to be a stay at home mom. My dad didn’t realize she had stopped working right away, but once he realized she had he kind of threw his hands up and said that he could afford it so it wasn’t that big of a deal. She hasn’t worked since then (so roughly 22 months).
He also told me that they had a chance to date 3 years before they actually started dating but she wasn’t interested because he didn’t have the kind of money that he has now. He owns a construction company so his annual income fluxuates, but he got lucky with some big contracts in the last two and a half years with more pouring in everyday – he’s flush with cash and has been for a while so basically I’m convinced she’s a gold digger.
I know that he let it happen, and so if he’s happy I should be happy for him. And I was happy for him, until he told me that he was planning on proposing. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea. He told me to get over it (not in those exact).
There are quite a few other things I’m concerned with but it’s a lot of backstory and I don’t feel like writing it all down.
So, flash forward to today. The actual proposal day. He texted me in the morning saying how much he loved me and that I’m so special to him. I responded in kind and didn’t think anything of it until some posts popped up on facebook about where they were going today; it was really extravagent and obviously I knew something was up so I texted him “Are you going to do what I think you’re going to do?” and he said “Yes”
I got sick to my stomach, I still am. I alternate between crying and being pissed off. I’m trying to just cut off my emotions all together until I can calm down and figure myself out. I don’t want to talk weddings with her, or pretend to be excited for them. Plus with Christmas coming up I know for a fact that everyone will be talking about it, and I’m not a good liar.
Another reason I’m so sad is because now I’m not even excited to get engaged to my SO. It’s supposed to be coming relatively soon, but…IDK I’m just not into it at the moment. It frustrates me because I feel people like her are ruining marriage. I mean, this is her fourth engagement. She’s only in her mid-forties.
I’m not trying to be mean or anything like that to other people who’ve had similar situations to hers. I just…wanted something more for my dad? I want someone to love him for him and not what he can provide for her and her kids. Please don’t flame me for some of the things I said, they’re meant specifically about her not about anyone else.
I just need help. I’m not good at being helpless especially when I feel like someone I love is getting taken advantage of.