- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
So I’ve had issues with my dad lately. This is about our father-daughter dance song,. It sounds stupid, but I appreciate the help. My mom suggested "daddy’s little girl" to me as a father-daughter dance song. I listened to it, read the lyrics, and said it was too sappy and gaggy for me, I wanted something more low-key. Also, i didn’t want my song with my dad to be sappier and mushier than my song with my new husband. (my mom also thinks I should dance with my dad first, THEN ber handed off to my husband for OUR first dance…?) Well, I told her no. I suggested a BUNCH of songs to my dad, including Lullabye (he hates billy joel apparently) and Elton John’s Your Song (and he said he wouldh’t dance to any elton john song and then said some really inappropriate things about his lifestyle, even though he told me he liked that song!) I also suggested a Beach Boys song, but he said he can’t dance to that. Mom made him listen to Daddy’s Little Girl and now he called me and said that is the ONLY song he will dance with me to, and he thinks I’m being selfish by not letting him have this one wish. His 2 wishes for my wedding were to wear a bowtie and now, this song. Which suddenly came out of the blue….Well, I hate this song. I really dislike it. I am open to compromise, and I’ve told him that I want to find a song that we BOTH like. That’s the point, right? I made my FI listen to the song, and he goes, "ew, Michael Bolton, really?!" Yeah it’s the Michael bolton version.
Now he says if I’m too self centered to grant him this one wish, he will pass on the father-daughter dance song and taht’s what I get for "being like this" apparently. I don’t get it…i have been SO laid back about my wedding.
Sometimes my dad gets very "my way or the highway" and frankly, can kind of be a jerk about it. I don’t think it’s fair that he’s putting an ultimatum on this. I didn’t do this with any of the songs I picked out, I want us to find one we BOTH like. I need some advice on how to deal or some good song suggestions.
I told my mom that if he pushes me and gives me an ultimatum, he’s going to look like a fool when I stand up there for our dance and he doesn’t come dance with me. My other option is that we’ll have a father-daughter son-mother dance to ONE song if he isn’t open to compromise and we’ll pick a very generic song.
I really dislike the song (i really want to avoid some sappy thing), but the ultimatum is making it worse. I’m 23 and I cannot believe he’s telling me "you’ll do this OR ELSE" and he’s not even paying for the damn thing. It’s not like I’m a teenager, this is my wedding, and I’m not keen on having a song just for his sake. He’s telling me that i’m being irrational and that I should let him do what he wants at my wedding and has said that he doesn’t have time to listen to more music and that he and my mom are wasting a lot of time for such an unimportant thing when they have "bigger things going on in their lives….meanwhile i’ve spent hours also researching songs. My mom said she’s tired of this argument and that I should just give in and stop being so stubborn. Frankly, I’ve done this "giving in" thing a lot of my life and I don’t feel like my wedding is one of those places where I’m just going to do whatever anyone else wants and forget what I want and my own feelings about it. He thinks that if he gives me an ultimatum he’ll get his way. I’m very pissed about this ultimatum, it feels like a very childish thing to say to your daughter, who’s TRYING to find a song we both like. It’s not like i called him up and said, "oh here’s our song!" Anyways, I told her that I don’t want this father-daughter memory to be a strained one, and I don’t see why he cannot simply compromise.
Sorry that’s long and drawn out but I was really upset about it friday night. I talked to my Fi about it, and his response was, "well, your dad can be an a$$ sometimes" and then he suggested a) having a song anyways or b) doing a big joint song with him and his mom or c) skipping it altogether.