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I'm not going thru this but I'm so very sorry that you are. That totally sux. Is there a relative that you can live with til you move in with your man. Or can you live at his parent's house?
Well i was thinking about just living with my fsil but i dunno there house is nasty messy and always stinks lol.
Other then that im thinking of maybe asking his parents... I dunno im there everyday anyways plus i cook for them with my fiance. So maybe they wont mind.
Thanks :)
Sounds like your dad has some serious problems. Growing up my dad did similar things to me and my siblings. It took him 4 year of intense therapy to get over it. Although, he can still be an arse sometimes.
As for moving out, I think you should ask your FI's parents if its okay if you move in. Sounds like you basically live there right now anyhow. Explain the situation to them. Maybe offer to buy groceries or pay a smell bit of rent. If they say no, check out other nearby relative's places, good friends with an extra room or couch. If all else fails, look for women's homes in your area (here in Milwaukee they are 100% women only homes where you can get a private bed for about $100-$250 a month, have access to clean bathrooms, etc. Your FI could never, ever visit, but you'd have someplace to go besides your parent's place.) or a month-to-month studio or as a roommate with a bunch of people. I know LA is crazy expensive, but there has to be somewhere cheap you can rent.
Be careful and good luck!
You said he used to hit you and threatens to now and pushes you around but he doesn't treat your sister that way. Does he act this way towards your mother?
You could try talking to your mom. Do you get along with her? Maybe the two of you could get out together?
If your FI's parents aren't cool with you totally moving in with them, you might be able to stay at a women's/domestic violence shelter.
Oceanside is near San Diego, right? Here are some resources I found online.
http://www.cdph.ca.gov/HealthInfo/injviosaf/Documents/San%20Diego.pdf
http://www.oceansidepolice.com/domvp.asp
http://www.sandiegodvcouncil.org/
http://www.dhs.ca.gov/epic/dvrefer/default.htm
The first two links I posted have several links and info on programs that can help. Also there's the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800- 799-7233 (SAFE)
Thanks everyone.
bananagirl : thank your for all your info! that was very sweet.
Im trying to move down to Oceanside offically. Im there half of the week/weekend . My fi family has a place there. I live up in the Lancaster so thats where im trying to get away from. I am going to start packing up my stuff and move out. Prob at the FI house or something.
Thanks for all the help everyone :)
good luck with everything. im sorry to hear that you're going through that. no one should ever have to go through that. my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your mother. i hope you're both able to get out of that situation asap!
wow...there HAS to be a reason for all this...especially since he treats your sister differently.
but yeah...there has to be a reason for this----have you tried asking your mom? I'm sure sghe mush have noticed something.
Yeah we talk about it . She thinks its best to just leave and live with my FI or move somewhere. Even though at this point its hard because i still cant find a job to support myself.
I wanna say its because i dont have a job still. However hes been likes this forever. But im sure it makes him mad. EVEN THOUGH he is jobless as well. I dunno.
Thanks girls!
The reason for him treating you like this is that he's a disturbed individual and an asshole and should not have children. I'm sorry you're going through this. You should move out as soon as possible, sooner. Staying in the same home as someone abusive is terrible for you not only physically but emotionally and pshycologically. Good luck finding a job, any job as a temporary measure.
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Ever since i was a teen or well all my life my dads never been to nice. Hes always in a bad mood etc.
He used to hit me. Now he treatens to hit me pushes me around etc.. ITS LIKE HELLO im 25 yrs old. Yes i still live at home but not much longer.
Im normally at my FI place 24/7 because i hate to be home.My FI lives with his parents as well because we both go to school and once it comes summer we plan on moving out.
I come home 1-2 times a week and everytime i do i wake up to my dad yelling at my mom and always bringing me up into the convo even if it has nothing to do with me.
Hes not like this to my sister which is a year older.
Im seriously thinking about just packing up and leaving . I just shouldn't have to deal with the threats or the unhappiness that he brings me.
As far as the wedding 10-10-10 at this point i can care less if my dads even there. You think it may be better once im married?
I walked in the kitchen this morning and he was there and he ignored everything i said to him. FOR NO REASON.
Im just so over it. Im 25 i dont need to deal with his crap anymore.
Anyone else going through this?