(Closed) My Dad Hates My Wedding Plans

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you come to a wedding if the invitation said "hors d'oeuvres & dessert to follow"?
    Yes : (115 votes)
    92 %
    No : (5 votes)
    4 %
    No - but I WOULD come if it said "cocktail reception" : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would absolutely come to a hors douevres/dessert reception but I do not think it is appropriate to put “cocktail reception” if it is a cash bar. This is not a judgment on cash vs. open bar. It is a matter of language choice – to me “cocktail reception” implies complimentary cocktails, and cocktails means liquor drinks, not wine pairings.

    Post # 5
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would not worry about changing the “hors d’oeuvres & dessert” wording. That is totally appropriate and sounds tasty to me! It sounds from your post like your father has a problem with doing hors d’oeuvres and dessert, not the wording, and he will just have to get over it because you guys are paying and that is what you want to do.

    ETA: Just in general, I would never decide whether or not to attend a wedding depending on what kind of food/reception they were having! That is just silly and superficial. People should be attending because they love you and want to celebrate your marriage.

    Post # 6
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Mmmm, you’re making me hungry. I could absolutely go for some appetizers and dessert. Sometimes those are best parts of the meal. But to directly answer your question, yes, I would go to the wedding. I guess my only advice is to make sure you have ample food so that you don’t run out.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Are you kidding?  Hors douevres/dessert receptions are my favorite kind of receptions.  The food is usallly better than plated meals (hors douevres are easier to pull off in catering environment than plated meals are).

    What time is your ceremony?  It you have your ceremony at 2 you could probably just say “reception following” withough stating the type of food because people won’t expect at meal at 2:30.

    Would you be willing to let your dad for the meal?  If so, you could do that…but if you really don’t want a plated meal then don’t do it

    I have NEVER decided to attend or not attend a wedding based on where or when the reception is.  I go to weddings to celebrate the marriage ceremony.  If I get some cake out of it, great…but that’s not the point.  You could just tell you dad that this is the reception you want, and if anyone is going to chose not to come because there isn’t a plated meal, then those are poeple you don’t want to spend your wedding day with anyway!

    Post # 8
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i JUST went to a wedding last night where it was just hor’duerves and not even ALCOHOL and had a BLAST!! there were sooo many stations with different types of hor’duerves i actually got REALLY full…not to mention there were 350 people there and everyone got fed well!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    That’s the kind of reception we had and we got no complaints. I have yet to go to a wedding or reception based on food.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I would so go to your wedding!! It sounds like you really want people to spend some time together and have fun.   To be honest most the time the hors d’oeuvres & dessert are the best parts.  I really like your idea for everyone being able to walk. 

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1222 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Jenniphyr: Of course I would go!! Food is an added bonus to any event I attend. I don’t go to weddings for food, I’m there to witness the couple’s marriage. If someone doesn’t want to come because you’re not serving a full meal or alcohol, who needs friends/family like that anyway?!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @Jenniphyr:sorry..didn’t see the time in the original post.  I’d just tell him that the people who matter to you will come and end the discussion.  And maybe try not to talk about the wedding much with him. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    The wedding reception is during the afternoon at a non-meal time.  I don’t think people will be expecting a full meal! 🙂 I think what you’re doing is great.  I wouldn’t use “cocktail reception” because I feel that it is a little misleading.  A cocktail reception makes me think of an open bar. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    459 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    The wedding you are planning sounds great. If you are paying, I would just do what you want to do and stop talking to your dad about the wedding. We paid for our own wedding, and I know we did some things that were untraditional that gave my dad pause (including not getting married in a church). At the end, though, my parents enjoyed themselves.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee

    Short version: You will be FINE. Heavy hors d’oeuvres are a southern wedding thing–and people definitely go to those!

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