- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
My dad is extremely religious. Every time I have a conversation with him, he tries to “save” me. He reads the Bible loudly when I’m in the room, stopping when I leave, reading again when I come back, asks me questions about my faith regularly (that I say I don’t want to talk about), asks me why/what I have to hide when I say I don’t want to talk about it, and is constantly talking about his Bible, the glory of God, the Truth, and how I donj’t know anything.
Now, my dad and I have somewhat different beliefs. I’m a little more liberal and I don’t just take what he says as “truth”, but rather, as a theory. My dad honestly feels he is like, the only RIGHT person in the world, that everybody else has it wrong and that I need to listen to him or else I’ll be going down the wrong path.
His newest tactics include asking me if I want to see him, my mom, and my brother when I die (which is only possible in heaven he says) and is a total guilt trip, telling me things like my endometriosis and jaw pain are God saying “hey look at me, you’re neglecting me” and telling me I need to pray more. He has also referred to me as a “God hater” because I won’t listen to HIM. But really it hurts me that when he calls to see how my dentist/dr/etc appointments go, he says my pain is because God is trying to tell me something, and that he’ll pray for me. It’s just not helpful. If anything, it makes me feel a million times worse. You don’t tell someone in pain that their pain is because God is saying “pay attention to me”. It really ticks me off. It’s an assenine thing to say.
All I ask is that my dad be respectful of me and try not to shove his religious viewpoints down my throat. But he does it more and more and I’m really getting frustrated. I cannot talk to him without God coming up. Every conversation. I’ve tried talking to him about it, saying he needs to stop, and he says, “but I’m telling you THE TRUTH” and that I must listen to him. Then asks why I push The Truth away and what’s my problem with God. What? I’m a Christian! Ugh! It’s like talking to a brick wall. And when I talk to my mom about it, she says, “oh your dad is just doing the best he can. He thinks he’s doing the right thing, just appease him, he’s right, you know?”. She has told him before it’s disrespectful, but he does not get it. He thinks the more he pushes, the better, and someday I’ll wake up and say, “boy, I want a relationship with God and I want my DAD to teach me all about it”. I’ve told him many times this is my own path, my own journey, and I simply ask he leaves me alone about it. But he won’t. It’s not good enough b/c it’s not what HE wants me to believe.
Any advice on how to get him to back off? It puts me in a really bad mood to call to talk to my mom, then she says “hey your dad wants to say hi” then he launches into a sermon about how God is great and how I don’t know what I’m missing out on, etc. I set the phone in the cupholder of my car until I can no longer hear his voice. It’s intense. Anybody else have very extremely religious parents with differing viewpoints? I want some space and I don’t know how to avoid it. The more I pull back, the harder he pushes. And I have my reasons for not wanting my dad to teach me about God—his viewpoints are full of hate and things I can’t get on board with. He preaches things I do NOT want to be associated with. I would like it if every conversation we had wasn’t about God and how I need to be converted.
Thanks for reading, I know it’s long. I got a nice big fat sermon after I saw an orthodontist today and it really soured my mood and DH is out of ideas.