- Champagne Wishes
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
I need some advice. But first, the back story.
My parent’s divorced with I was 5. My Mom kept us in NY near her family and my Dad’s family but my Dad moved to Alabama and basically called on holidays and birthdays. He would visit while on business but that was about twice a year or less.
When the Mister and I got engaged, I called him that same day and gave him the good news. Though we are not close at all and are almost strangers, I felt like I had to tell him since I am super close with all of his family. And I think there is a little part of me that wishes we could be closer and be “daddy’s little girl”.
Anyway, after I called him, he emailed me the following day to express that he wished we had a better relationship and wanted to work on improving it and being more in my life. We shared our feelings from over the years and agreed to try anew.
That didn’t last long. It’s been a year on the 21st since our engagement and my father and I have talked 4 times (he missed my birthday, again) and we have emailed a handful of times.
Even if we did rebuild our relationship, I don’t think I want a man who hasn’t been faithful to any woman in his life to give me away. He cheated on my mother, his girlfriend and his current wife/my step mom (it’s not hear-say, one woman knew I was his daughter, saw me in a store and faked a phone call telling her friend that she “just got back from a trip with Dad Wishes”…slut). I don’t want my marriage to start off with that.
He is very well-off, yet he decided not to pay for his out-of-town extended family, like my mom and the Mister’s parents are, so we can’t invite his cousins who his immediate family is close with but not me.
Basically, I need to tell him that he is not walking me down the aisel and that my brother, who has been the man-in-my-life since he was 18months and I was 5, will be walking with me.
How do I do this? I really want to email but I’m sure a call is better.
I still want him and his wife ther and I want them to walk down together with my grandma but I am ready for this not to go smoothly and them to not come at all.
What would you do? And how do I say this gently?
Thanks for your help and thoughts!