MY DAD IS UPSET IM ENGAGED, BUT HE GAVE MY BOYFRIEND HIS BLESSING

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsG2015:  Well congratulations on the proposal!! Maybe your dad just needs some time to adjust…marriage is a huge step in life for everyone involved, and sometimes dads take it extra hard. It’s hard to see their little girls go! Just give it some time and I’m sure he’ll come around. Meanwhile enjoy your engagement with your new fiance! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Why do you think he feels this way?   It seems to me as if he’s trying to act appropriately and supportively and that the text message wasn’t anything you were supposed to see.  

Post # 5
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Natually he’s going to be a little upset, he is “losing his baby” 🙂 Reality is hitting him and he’s scared, don’t worry! He is happy for you!

Post # 6
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Just try to wait a month or two and see how he feels.  He probably just doesn’t know how to handle it.  Wouldn’t you preffer this over him trying to marry you off?

Post # 7
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Fathers have feelings too. He’s not trying to stop you from getting married or throw a wrench into your plans. Give him a break and some time to adjust. It’s okay for him to feel upset.

Your engagement affects more than just you and your fiancée, so people, especially parents, may have feelings that you don’t like. It’s okay for them to not be as excited as you are. 

Post # 9
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@FutureMrsG2015:  Maybe he’s just feeling a little emotional about the prospect that you really are a grown up, you really are going to get married and you really aren’t his little girl anymore. Emotions can be tough on a Dad. Just try talking to him.

Post # 10
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This is such a generic post that it’s impossible to say what is really going on. But if it matters to you what your dad thinks because you trust and value his opinion then talk to him!  You don’t have to tell him that you read his text, just that you get the feeling that he’s not completely happy about this.  

Since my parents are reasonable and perceptive people, I could tell you that  they would not have expressed something like your dad did outside the immediate family unless they felt something really was wrong with the guy or the situation.   It also probably would not have been possible for me to get all the way to an engagement without knowing how enthusiastic they were about the guy. Or not. 

Of course,  none of that is relevant to you.   For all we know your dad is a terrible judge of people or has his own personal issues or even an agenda. Unless you give us a little more to go on, you are going to be  in the best position of anyone here to know the answer to your questions.

Post # 11
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@FutureMrsG2015:  why did you look through his messages? how would you feel if your dad read through your personal messages? 

I agree with PP it’s probably just a sad time for him. 

Post # 12
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@FutureMrsG2015:  My dad gave my FI his blessing but seemed kind of weird about it. He loves FI, but I’m his first born (younger brother and sister no where near the same place in life as me) and I think he was emotional about me “growing up” (I’m 23). He’s always acted like I’m so mature and independent and stuff but I think it really hit him that this all is true and I’m really getting married. He seems happy about it though lol but I asked if he would cry at my wedding and he said yes haha.

Post # 12
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

“Upset and down” could just mean it is a new era for him, you’re now considered a ‘woman’ / mature adult etc, which inherently changes your relationship with your dad.

Try approaching your dad with that in mind and ask him how he feels about the new ‘era’ you are going into. (keep it vague, it might not be as personal/directed at your FI as you think)

 

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