Post # 1
Its really hard for me to write about this but my Dad just passed away two days ago, a month before my wedding. He has been sick for a long time and I knew he was not doing well lately but still I didn’t expect it. I love my Dad and I miss him so much.
Out of everyone I feel like he was most excited about my wedding. I had gone over some of the planning with him. He bought me my wedding dress and helped picked out the food. He liked my FI and was very happy we were getting married. He had told my Mom he wanted me to have the wedding of my dreams. My dream would be just to have him at my wedding but now he will only be there in spirit as that is the only way he can be there.
This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with but I know my Dad would want me to be happy at my wedding and so I have to try and find a way to pull it together somehow by then. I guess I am mostly posting here because I want to see for others who have lost a parent how they incorporated them into their wedding. I really want to find ways to incorporate my Dad and make him part of my day.
Post # 3
I am so sorry for your loss. 🙁 I am sure your dad will be with you in spirit on your wedding day! (((hugs)))
Post # 4
I am so so sorry for your loss and that this is all happening right now. I wish I could help ease the pain, but all I have are prayers of comfort, peace, and strength.. and that our Heavenly Father will wrap His arms around you and hold your heart together until it begins to heal. In Jesus’ sweet name. ='(
Post # 5
I am so sorry for your loss…
You are already incorporating him in the wedding with each of the things that he was involved in 🙂
A couple of the ways that I incorporated my mom into our wedding was to have a little poem dedicated just to her in the programs and our recessional song was Tara’s Theme from her favorite movie; Gone With the Wind. They were subtle because I didn’t want to bring everyone down, but I still wanted to honor her.
Post # 6
im so sorry. my mom passed away right before christmas. i have a secret thing for my mom that only her and Fi and i knew about. in my bouquet there is a white butterfly and my moms corsage has one too. they were our little thing. even though she is gone i am putting her corsage on a candle with a poem and i still have my butterfly. im also wearing her veil and since she was creamated im bringing her ashes to the venue to be in the room with me when i get ready. i know she will be there with me the whole time.
i know this is hard but it will never get easier. you will always see or hear or remember something that will bring back a flood of memories.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad just over two years ago and it is so hard to think that he won’t be there at our wedding, I just know how excited he would be.
Your dad will be there in spirit with you.
A couple things we are doing is I will have a pic of my dad on my bouquet, we are reserving his seat in the church and I’m not sure how we are doing this yet. As well we are doing a donation in his memory in lieu of favours. My sister is also making garters out of my mom’s wedding dress and the tie he wore to their wedding.
We are all here for you if you need us.
Post # 8
Nothing more to say- but ((hugs)).
Post # 9
@FireflyT:I am so sorry for your loss.
And to echo the other bees, he will be with you on that day.
And you can honor him with a memorial candle at your reception and/or your ceremony.
Be good to yourself. Let yourself grieve, but also don’t stop yourself from laughing or smiling when remembering the good memories.
If you need anything, let us bees know.
Post # 10
I am so sorry for your loss ((hugs)) this must be so hard for you.
I know your Dad will be there for you in spirit on your big day.
My mum (and Dad though he didn’t raise me) and grandparents (who helped raise me) passed before my wedding day, and consequently as I am an only child I had no family at my wedding, to honour my family, I wrote a speach on their behalf and let the guests know what I thought they would have said given the chance. It was a really emotional speach and not a dry eye in the house but I am glad that I did it, I felt I owed it to my family.
If you would like to see a copy of what I wrote as inspiration PM me and I will send you a copy.
Post # 11
Oh, I’m so so sorry for your loss. Others have mentioned some great suggestions and advice.
Post # 12
I’m also so sorry to hear this 🙁 My dad and I were really close and I still cry thinking about him not being there (in the physical sense) for our wedding…and I have had a couple years to come to terms with things. My heart goes out to you dealing with all of this in what’s supposed to be such a happy time.
Please feel like you can reach out to people here (me included!) if you think it would help. I got a lot of clueless comments from friends like, “my stepdad’s mother died last year, so yeah, I know what you’re going through”, and that certainly didn’t help, and it sounds like there are several people here who might be good resources if you’re having the same experience.
Before I sign off here, I have to respectfully disagree with cr6zy about it never getting better. When my dad died, I was desperate to know how it was going to go. How my life was ever going to make sense again. How long it would take for that to happen, if it ever would. It just hurt too much and I needed to know whether there was any hope for the future or not so I could figure out how to deal with everything. So in case you are feeling like that at all, I will add my own data point that it took a couple years, but eventually my life came back together and it’s been better than it ever was before; I credit Dad with that. I feel him with me (I didn’t at first, fwiw) and even though I’m a scientist and don’t buy all the fruity stuff like people telling me that he appears in rainbows and sunsets, he’s found some pretty ridiculous ways to remove any doubt that he’s there. If you are having doubts yourself, you should definitely get in touch and I will tell you some crazy stories.
Like the other girls are saying, your dad will be there on your big day, and he’ll have the best seat in the house. Please accept my deepest, deepest sympathy for your loss, and again, feel free to get in touch if you ever want to talk.
Post # 13
Please take care of yourself.
Post # 14
I am so so sorry to hear this. I truly believe your father’s spirit will be with you on your wedding day and not just then…
I’m sure you gave him much joy in his last months with your wedding planning and your love.
Sending hugs your way…
Post # 15
Im sorry for your loss! He’ll always be with you. One of my bridesmaid’s died last june couple months after asking her to be bridesmaid, we’re doing a little thing to remember her by. Also its not the same but my dad died when i was a little child and i have always wished for him to be there at my wedding walking me down the aisle. Think of the positives about your dad. Brings back amazing memories. Hope your wedding goes so smoothly. 🙂 xxx Chin up
Post # 16
My condolences. Your loss is heightened by your wedding. I’m so sorry. I attended a wedding where both fathers had passed away. There was a dedication in the program and they presented the mothers/widows flowers during the ceremony.