- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Let me start by saying that my dad and I have a bad relationship. To be honest, I’ve had the blessing of an awesome mom, but a very bad dad.
He has tried to ruin every important event in my life, graduations, presentations, and now my wedding. He always says that he doesn’t feel important enough. The thing is that if he’s not the one calling the shots, he says he feels out of place. I knew he would want to dictate everything, and that’s why my FI decided we would pay for the wedding ourselves. We wanted our wedding to be the way we wanted, on our own terms, without having to obey the person who actually paid.
Bees, sometimes I feel my dad doesn’t like me at all. He treats me very different from my sister, he’s very harsh on me, he says I’m immature because I don’t think like him, because I don’t agree with everything he says and because I’m close to the Church. (He doesn’t believe in God). But, I think the worse thing I’ve done (in his eyes) is being independent. In his eyes, women should never be independent!
I live with my FI in a different country as my dad, and I haven’t been home for almost a year and half. I haven’t seen my dad or talked to him, we communicate through email. Our relationship goes from bad to regular and back to bad. I try to be polite and respectful, even when sometimes he doesn’t deserve it, even when he’s not polite to me. However, I know that no matter how polite I am, sooner or later he’ll feel offended because I don’t do what he says, as he says. Somehow, he just can’t accept that I’m an adult (I’m on my late 20’s) and that I have my own life and mind.
Now with the wedding, he seem to have forgotten all the problems we’ve had and wants to feel as one of the most important people at the wedding, even when he’s not paying for it, even when he’s been mean to me so many times.I feel like I’m being bullied by my own dad.
Has anyone gone through something similar? Any family members like that in your family? Any advice for me?