My Dad's fiance planned their wedding the day after mine….

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Father getting married day after me acceptable?
    Acceptable : (28 votes)
    6 %
    Absolutely Not : (154 votes)
    35 %
    Totally Insane/Evil : (144 votes)
    32 %
    Should have invited her : (36 votes)
    8 %
    Should never talk to him again : (30 votes)
    7 %
    Should care less if he comes : (52 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @chasglennon:  this woman sounds like a terrible person, and if this is all true, it sounds like your dad is too. and totally pussy-whipped. my father would never, in a thousand years, DREAM of doing this to me.

    sounds like no love lost if you cut ties with this fool. and the bitch.

    Post # 4
    855 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    [comment moderated for name-calling]

    Your father birthed YOU and he doesn’t need your permission to do anything, INCLUDING get married. You are not in the position to suggest witnesses to their marriage, you are not in the position to suggest or demand they change their wedding DAY, you are entitled to a DAY, the rest of the year is up for grabs. That YOU don’t get that is YOUR problem, not theirs. People remarry at 70, 80, even 90. Love doesn’t have an expiration age. You forgave him for what he did to you? You aren’t a party to his marriage. He left his wife, that he called you to tell you about his marriage to this new woman means he didn’t leave you or your sister.




    So you remember this… should YOU choose to cut off your father for this, it is YOUR choosing, so don’t make him the bad one should he accept your choice to no longer have your father in your life. It was your decision in the first place.




    Post # 5
    1162 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m sorry to hear this. I’m sure you’ll get mixed reviews from the Bee’s. Here’s all I have to say.


    Your Dad is the one missing out. He is going to miss having his children in his life. Seeing his daughter walk down the aisle. Meeting his grandchildren one day. Have children to look after him when he is old and sick. 






    Post # 6
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I dont agree with any of this behavior EXCEPT for being mad that they chose the very next day and his FI acted like a bitch to you. Aside from that, he is your FATHER and I think you should work on getting over it for the sake of your relationship with him.

    Post # 7
    2400 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @TwoStatesBride:  +1


    OP I can’t even imagine the situation your in. HUGS! Cut ties, it’s their loss. My dad would never do this to me. This is something you just don’t do.

    Post # 8
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @chasglennon:  she sounds terrible and your dad should think for himself but you still have no right to tell them to change their date. You sound like you handled that a little Bridezilla-y.

    Post # 9
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    The issue to me is that your father’s fiance actually doesn’t care that in keeping her date you and your siblings would be unable to attend their own father’s remarriage. Clearly shows that she isn’t really interested in having a relationship with her FH’s kids, and I think it is extremely sad that your father doesn’t see this and basically okay’s it by going through with the plans. I wonder how your father’s fiance would feel if your father decided to shut out her two daughters.

    Post # 10
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    OP, I’m so sorry this is happening!  It sounds as thought they planned the wedding on the day after yours purposely so that you wouldn’t be able to attend.  Honestly, his future wife sounds nasty.  I would also be hurt and angry if I had been planning my wedding for that long.  Hugs! 🙁

    Post # 11
    2209 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @DJones69:  Pretty sure her mother gave birth to her.

    OP, I’m so sorry your future step mother has decided that your feelings don’t figure into the life she’s building with your dad.  After having your wedding planned for so long, she should’ve picked another weekend.  ANY other weekend.

    That being said, he is the only father you’ll ever have.  It’s awful that he doesn’t seem to understand how much this hurts you, but telling him you’ll never speak to him again is just as bad.

    I’m sorry you have to deal with this.  *hugs*

    Post # 12
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Your step-mom to be sounds like the worlds biggest bitch. I don’t blame you for being angry. I do think you may regret it if you don’t patch things up with your dad though.

    Is her wedding very far from yours? I was a little confused why it would be impossible for you and your siblings to attend her wedding the day after yours.

    Post # 13
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012


    I’m in the camp that you get one day, but really I do think you get to claim a weekend.  True, they don’t need your permission, but why would they choose the day after your wedding?  Did they say?  Is there some old family member that is only availabe that weekend?  Or are her daughters only in town for that weekend?  Are they even inviting people or just doing JOP?

    Post # 14
    9859 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @chasglennon:  I cannot believe she did that.  Actually I can, if my dad and step mom weren’t already married it’s the type of thing she would do, she’s wretched and evil and awful and I won’t use anymore ajectives.  BUT I think you should rethink the uninviting part.  It’s a really really shitty thing she’s doing but you have an opportunity to be the bigger person.  ‘you know what, I overreacted.  I really wish you weren’t getting married the day after me but I would still like you to be a part of my day’ He’s your father – nothing changes that.  They way I always look at these things, if something happened to him and I was still angry/we weren’t speaking, could I live with that – I’ve yet to find a scenario where the answer is yes.

    Post # 15
    162 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @chasglennon:  Your step-mother does sound terrible and I am shocked that your father allowed her to tell you and your siblings that it is fine that you will not be there for their wedding. It sounds to me that she chose this date on purpose just to get attention/start drama.

    However, I think you and your sis could have handled the situation better. I understand your reaction though – I am a hot head and sometimes I react before thinking it through and my father’s the same. It would have probably worked out better for you if you had approached your father in a way that made him feel like you were hurt by being excluded from his wedding plans. 

    I wouldn’t cut ties with him because he’s your father but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell him how hurt you are by the situation. He definitely needs to hear that.

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