Post # 1
I have been engaged for almost two and a half years right before my dad started dating his current wife to be. My parents were married 37 years and about five years ago he left my mom for another woman and that relationship failed.
I forgave my dad for what he did and was happy when he met someone new so that he wasn’t alone. My sister, brother and I were always nice and respectful to her. I thought we got along.
I booked my wedding venue 22 months in advance and everyone was well aware of of my wedding date. My father asks us to come over for dinner one Sunday night. As soon as we get there his fiance tells us that they are getting married less than 24 hours after me the day after my wedding. She then proceeds to say she completely okay that me, my sister, brother, nephew and fiance would be unable to make it’s physically impossible. I was literally in shock. She tells us her two daughter’s are going to be her witnesses I then suggest my older sister and she says she has her two daughter’s to do it and that’s all she needs. She then tells me I was supposed to get married Memorial Day weekend not Labor day meanwhile my wedding venue was booked almost two years in advance. She then flashes her ring and says she doesn’t need our permission.
The next day my sister and I both called my father and said we would never speak to him again if he kept the date. Well they kept that date. I told my father that Sharon was no longer invited to my wedding and he has advised he does not want to attend and will not attend my wedding without her. So he isn’t coming to my wedding. The point at getting married again at 65 boggled my mind to begin with. And prior to her planning her wedding the day after mine she was invited even to the shower which created a huge with my mother.
I am in utter shock that my dad will not be attending my wedding and does not understand it is totally unacceptable to have a wedding the day after mine. I told him I will never speak to him again and I have not heard from him since.
Post # 3
@chasglennon: this woman sounds like a terrible person, and if this is all true, it sounds like your dad is too. and totally pussy-whipped. my father would never, in a thousand years, DREAM of doing this to me.
sounds like no love lost if you cut ties with this fool. and the bitch.
Post # 4
[comment moderated for name-calling]
Your father birthed YOU and he doesn’t need your permission to do anything, INCLUDING get married. You are not in the position to suggest witnesses to their marriage, you are not in the position to suggest or demand they change their wedding DAY, you are entitled to a DAY, the rest of the year is up for grabs. That YOU don’t get that is YOUR problem, not theirs. People remarry at 70, 80, even 90. Love doesn’t have an expiration age. You forgave him for what he did to you? You aren’t a party to his marriage. He left his wife, that he called you to tell you about his marriage to this new woman means he didn’t leave you or your sister.
So you remember this… should YOU choose to cut off your father for this, it is YOUR choosing, so don’t make him the bad one should he accept your choice to no longer have your father in your life. It was your decision in the first place.
Post # 5
I’m sorry to hear this. I’m sure you’ll get mixed reviews from the Bee’s. Here’s all I have to say.
Your Dad is the one missing out. He is going to miss having his children in his life. Seeing his daughter walk down the aisle. Meeting his grandchildren one day. Have children to look after him when he is old and sick.
Post # 6
I dont agree with any of this behavior EXCEPT for being mad that they chose the very next day and his FI acted like a bitch to you. Aside from that, he is your FATHER and I think you should work on getting over it for the sake of your relationship with him.
Post # 7
OP I can’t even imagine the situation your in. HUGS! Cut ties, it’s their loss. My dad would never do this to me. This is something you just don’t do.
Post # 8
@chasglennon: she sounds terrible and your dad should think for himself but you still have no right to tell them to change their date. You sound like you handled that a little Bridezilla-y.
Post # 9
The issue to me is that your father’s fiance actually doesn’t care that in keeping her date you and your siblings would be unable to attend their own father’s remarriage. Clearly shows that she isn’t really interested in having a relationship with her FH’s kids, and I think it is extremely sad that your father doesn’t see this and basically okay’s it by going through with the plans. I wonder how your father’s fiance would feel if your father decided to shut out her two daughters.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
OP, I’m so sorry this is happening! It sounds as thought they planned the wedding on the day after yours purposely so that you wouldn’t be able to attend. Honestly, his future wife sounds nasty. I would also be hurt and angry if I had been planning my wedding for that long. Hugs! 🙁
Post # 11
@DJones69: Pretty sure her mother gave birth to her.
OP, I’m so sorry your future step mother has decided that your feelings don’t figure into the life she’s building with your dad. After having your wedding planned for so long, she should’ve picked another weekend. ANY other weekend.
That being said, he is the only father you’ll ever have. It’s awful that he doesn’t seem to understand how much this hurts you, but telling him you’ll never speak to him again is just as bad.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. *hugs*
Post # 12
Your step-mom to be sounds like the worlds biggest bitch. I don’t blame you for being angry. I do think you may regret it if you don’t patch things up with your dad though.
Is her wedding very far from yours? I was a little confused why it would be impossible for you and your siblings to attend her wedding the day after yours.
Post # 13
I’m in the camp that you get one day, but really I do think you get to claim a weekend. True, they don’t need your permission, but why would they choose the day after your wedding? Did they say? Is there some old family member that is only availabe that weekend? Or are her daughters only in town for that weekend? Are they even inviting people or just doing JOP?
Post # 14
@chasglennon: I cannot believe she did that. Actually I can, if my dad and step mom weren’t already married it’s the type of thing she would do, she’s wretched and evil and awful and I won’t use anymore ajectives. BUT I think you should rethink the uninviting part. It’s a really really shitty thing she’s doing but you have an opportunity to be the bigger person. ‘you know what, I overreacted. I really wish you weren’t getting married the day after me but I would still like you to be a part of my day’ He’s your father – nothing changes that. They way I always look at these things, if something happened to him and I was still angry/we weren’t speaking, could I live with that – I’ve yet to find a scenario where the answer is yes.
Post # 15
@chasglennon: Your step-mother does sound terrible and I am shocked that your father allowed her to tell you and your siblings that it is fine that you will not be there for their wedding. It sounds to me that she chose this date on purpose just to get attention/start drama.
However, I think you and your sis could have handled the situation better. I understand your reaction though – I am a hot head and sometimes I react before thinking it through and my father’s the same. It would have probably worked out better for you if you had approached your father in a way that made him feel like you were hurt by being excluded from his wedding plans.
I wouldn’t cut ties with him because he’s your father but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell him how hurt you are by the situation. He definitely needs to hear that.
Post # 16
@TwoStatesBride: After my parents divorce I was the only one who talked to my dad for two years… I convinced my sister to give my dad another chance. Since he has been with this woman he’s different. My sister just got engaged and has never even met her fiance and he asked my mom for permission to marry her.