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I think moving forward to separating yourself is a good start since he is still unable to decide.
It sounds like you and your SO are at least having open (and realistic not just emotional) communication about marriage - is that an accurate assessment?
Maybe you could use the conversation about your daughter's relationship to springboard a fresh perspective on your own - kind of a "I can't help but look at their relationship and it makes me wonder about ours, and if we're ever going to be ready to move forward..." etc.
It's tough when you're just not in the same place as your guy :/
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I've been waiting all year for the time to be right for my proposal and wedding. It hasn't happened.
Now my 21 year old daughter springs on me that she is getting married tomorrow, for immigration reasons mainly. I am happy for her but sad I can't be there. I live on the west coast and she is in Toronto. She said they will have a real wedding in a couple years if all goes well. It is just so strange!
I genuinely am happy for her and have told her that. She's going to call me Sunday to tell me all about it.
It definitely brings into focus my own relationship (which I've been trying not to fixate on for the past couple of weeks). When I talked with my bf about it, he said, "Well, they may not have passed through all the stages you might have expected before making this decision, but, they have lived together for a year and know what to expect from each other, so this is probably a pretty good decision." This keeps ringing in my ears, because we've been together for two years and he can't decide. I am starting to plan what I would need to do to not be in this relationship. Practical things like how much money do I need to save to get my own place, what are rents now, what utilities I'd need to pay separately, etc.
I love him. I just don't know if our relationship is going to survive. And, let me repeat, I'm very happy for my daughter, just a bit stunned. Happy Friggin' Holidays!