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If it were for any other reason than a family emergency, I would be upset. I'm guessing she didn't give you any specifics; maybe something truly terrible happened and she is too emotional to talk on the phone, but knew she had to get in touch with you. I'd let it go just this once.
I'd be upset, because that seems odd to me... I understand family emergencies, but one that she can tell in advance will stop her from being your DOC in almost a year, and she can't take the time to call?
On the other hand, I sympathize with her, because there are plenty of things (cancer, etc) that can leave a family devastated and overwhelmed for months or years.
Either way, I'm sorry that you lost your DOC and hope you're able to find a great new one. I'd give your old one the benefit of the doubt for now.
I had the same experience with a free vendor from CL. I know there are some good deals in the world, but if someone isn't charging you anything, you'll probably get what you pay for--there is pretty much no incentive for her to do anything at all (even someone just starting out can charge a little bit!). She must have just changed her mind and didn't want to deal with talking to you about it or asking questions. I wouldn't take it personally that she did it over email--this isn't like a friendship or a break-up where she owes you a real-time conversation. I'd just dust off and start looking again!
I would be upset but I understand her reason for not calling you - confrontation. If I dont want to talk to someone, I email them. That way I dont have to sit on the phone and explain, listen, etc so she probably emailed you so she wouldnt have to talk to you. The bright side is that at least you know early enough to find someone else and didnt find out a day before!
That's why I'm really torn. I feel bad for her since something is going on and understand, I'm just feeling weird that it was an email. & naangel55, good point about confrontation. She may have thought I'd go bridezilla on her which never would happened. See, this is why I love weddingbee, you guys always have such good things to say :) Now I just have o deal with the stress of not having a DOC.
I think she just had something else come up and didn't want to confront you because come on...a family emergency when your wedding isn't for a year...aren't emergencies by definition time-bound.
On the bright side you have plenty of time to find another DOC.
Yeah, I hope I'm not a bad person for thinking it but there isn't a family emergency that starts in October and keeps you from making a single commitment in May. Or there could be, but I just don't believe it in this case.
In any event: you have a LOT of time. You can find another DOC. There are some really trustworthy and reputable ones who charge very little, or you might be able to set up a "work exchange" with another bride. Good riddance to this one... at least she gave you enough notice that you're not left high and dry.
Hmph, I give free DOC services and have had clients that are willing to pay for my services all the time, I tell them I'm booked. I have a feeling that she may have had a paying client come up. If not, then sorry for her family emergency, but unless she found out she was pregnant and is due in may then that may be a reason. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, but I would respond to her that while family emergencies do come up, you would have appreciated a phone call and that you wish her much success in her business.
@crebre80: Really? Too bad you're not out here. ;) Every time I've found someone who has been willing to do something for free, they've backed out. But these have always been people who were brand new to the industry with no real reputation to protect.
I'm sorry, that sucks! I also have trouble believing the family emergency, but at least you got a lot of notice so you can find another DOC.
That's a huge bummer! But I agree with everyone else, it sounds like she got a better offer. But at least you have plenty of time to find a new one!
I would be upset too, though I wouldn't have minded the e-mail since I'm not much of a phone person and I would have probably e-mailed too. ^_^ I guess different people just do things differently.
Good luck finding another DOC! They are hard to come by. I am having a friend of a friend (that likes wedding) doing it for me, it works out because I need a DOC and she really likes attending weddings. Hehe.
@marigold: absolutely!! i can't imagine that, and you never know who people know, does that make sense? for example, the lady doesn't know if nhlchick4 is a millionaire who can't pass up a great deal and wants to give a 1000 tip or anything like that. i actually have had the people who i contracted to do the free doc services for sign a contract, etc that way we are both protected. i am probably the only person that does that, but i do it so that i won't be screwed and keep a date for someone who pulls out at the last minute. eta i have chatted with one of my clients and am actually okay with traveling lmbo!! usually good docs, etc are really kosher with traveling, i mean everyone wants a vacay!!
@crebre80: I totally know what you're saying. When I had someone offer to DOC for free, I already was planning to give her a huge tip before she backed out of our meeting... for a "family emergency." Dang, why am I so cynical? Maybe there really was an emergency...! But not only that, I'm the first of my friends to get married and I know loooooooottts of people who are just starting to plan their weddings now that I could have referred to her! She could have started her whole business off of my buddies. ;)
There could also be a good family emergency, like her finding out being pregnant that will really last till next year :D There is really no obligation for her to break up with you by phone.
Or if someone in her family is sick and she actually has to move back home or something...
I know, it's probably just a cop out, but I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt!
I agree that it sucks that she did it by email but she could be dealing with a really stressful situation (just because it's a number of months away does not mean it's not an emergency) and not have had time to call or not want to get into details over the phone. You should just move on. As some other posters have said, at least you got plenty of notice to find someone else...
@crebe80... just curious, what do you put onto a contract when the services are free? if there are no deposits or anything to be refunded, how can you make sure they don't bail on you? do you make them pay you for damages? Is it enforce-able? I'm just curious b/c a friend of mine is looking into a free-vendor.
@mrsdg: i agree that it could be that she had to move away to take care of some family member or it could be legit.
@strawberrybaby: basically i put that i will use their pix for promotional purposes and it is a release. it also says that if they change or cancel their date that if i am not booked on that day that i can assist or if i am booked, i can reasonably assist them in the search for a replacement but that's as far as i go. i have been burnt as well, but usually people who want to burn you back out before it's time to sign the contract, so that also weeds out the nuts. i give folks 7 days to sign my contracts and will hold their day for that long... **disclaimer: however, this is in no way legal advice or how you are supposed to run your business or anything like that, it's just what i have found works well for me.
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I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I got an email from my DOC that she had a family emergency and would not be able to coordinate our wedding. Our wedding is in May 2010. Now granted, her services were free and I found her on Craig's List, but, was just a little shocked that she didn't call and tell me over the phone. I'm devastated that we lost her, but I'm not sure how to feel about getting it in an email. Am I being silly about this or is it ok to be a little bit upset?