- 2 years ago
- Wedding: April 2016
I’m utterly devastated. My beautiful, happy, cheeky, sweet boy Clyde is gone and I don’t know how to cope.
My SO and I took this past Friday off to go away for the weekend for our 8 year anniversary which is this weekend coming but we decided to celebrate a week early. We left our boy with SO’s parents like we always do when we go away and checked into a hotel by the beach about 35 minutes from their house. At about 2pm on Friday SO got a call from his dad, when I saw my SO’s face change I knew something was seriously wrong, I thought he had gotten out or something silly like that.
Our baby drowned, he slipped into the pool while no one was around and couldn’t get out. We have left him in the pool area a hundred times, heck a million times and he has not once gone near the pool, he usually sticks to the massive grassy area and the back deck where is bed was. His back legs have been getting weaker of late and he had been on arthritis injections for the past 4 months so all we can think is that he got too close to the edge of the pool and his legs may have given out and he slipped in, he wouldn’t have had the strength to swim.
My SO’s older sister found him floating in the pool when she took her son up for a swim. She started screaming and calling their her dad and brother, SO’s dad jumped in the pool right away and got him out and SO’s brother immediately started CPR and tried so so hard to bring him back but it was too late. Just typing what happened makes my whole body feel cold all over and I am shaking.
We drove straight from the hotel to SO’s parents house and everyone was standing around waiting for us, they had placed Clyde in the back of the car and had wrapped him in a sheet, when SO pulled back the sheet and we saw our beautiful boy we both lost it, how can he be here one minute and gone the next?
We chose to have him cremated and we got his ashes back yesterday, I thought it would help but I still feel so lost. It has been just my SO, Clyde and I for the last 8 years.. what are we supposed to do now? He was king of our house, he slept on the bed most nights and I spooned him, he sat on the couch, he went in the car with us. Our house is so quiet, no little click clack of claws walking down the hallway to come to bed, no doggy snuggles and kisses, no more snoring – I just can’t comprehend it. Everything hurts.
The worst part is – I didn’t say goodbye. The thing is, Clyde has a unique bark, it sounds like a mix between a dolphin and a dog and it’s super cute at first but can get really annoying after awhile.. well he does this when he wants attention and he had been doing it all Friday morning but finally was quiet, so instead of going out the back yard to say goodbye (and start his barking up again) I snuck out the front so he wouldn’t hear me.. I’m so stupid!!! The one day that I don’t say goodbye and give him his usual cuddle and kiss is the one day that he NEEDED it! I think the last thing I said to him was “shut up” because he’d been barking all morning. I will never forgive myself and every time I think about it my heart hurts.
I’m going to miss every little thing about him, how he used to sit on the mat outside the shower while SO and I were in there and wait for us, how he used to sit on my feet while I went to the bathroom (if I closed the door fully he would head-butt it and whinge until I opened it for him to come in), how he used to sit at the clothes line with me and wait while I hung out the laundry, watching movies with him snuggled into my side, kissing his nose, his snores, everything.
To my SO and I he wasn’t just a dog, he was our baby and now he is gone forever.
RIP Pooky Bear <3
- This topic was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Brickette.