(Closed) My dress arrived, why don’t I care?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you hit the nail right on the head – it’s really hard to be excited about something that you might normally love that seems trivial in light of something much bigger. I only have one grandparent left as well, and there is this huge feeling of sadness that comes along with that, let alone the actual death of a very loved person in one’s life. I think you need to separate the two a little – give yourself some time where it’s okay to not even think about the dress. Don’t worry about being excited or second-guessing, just ignore it for a few weeks. You have plenty of time to deal with alterations, etc, before your wedding. 

I’m sorry about your FI’s grandma. 🙁 My thoughts will be with you and the whole family.  

Post # 4
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am so sorry KLP….

You are totally right that its just hard to be excited for a dress when someone you love is gone.  Don’t worry about the dress, take a wedding planning vacation and come back to it when you are ready. 

Plus for me, picking up my dress wasn’t super exciting either.  I knew what my dress looked like and knew how it fit.  No surprises. 

Post # 5
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry for your loss – your fiance’s grandmother sounds like she was an awesome woman. If I were you, I totally wouldn’t be concerned about not getting excited about your actual dress. I got the call a couple of days ago that my dress is in, and I’m so burnt out in regards to wedding planning that my reaction was basically, “eh”, and I’m not even dealing with losing a loved one or renovating my house.

You chose your dress for a reason. Give it some time, and I’m positive the excitement will return. And I bet you’ll look stunning.

Post # 6
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I am sorry for your loss – it sounds like FI’s grandmother was a great woman. I think it’s romantic though that she and her husband had been together that long and now are together again.  When someone goes like this, especially when they’re such a joy in other people’s lives also, you can only just smile at their memory and think of the positives. As far as the dress goes, of course she’d want you to be happy and really there in that moment. Take a few weeks or a month to go pick it up, so you can be completely clear and in the moment – you’ll be excited again. No looking back at other dresses in the meantime 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

First and foremost, my deepest condolences to you and your FI… but yes, smile knowing that she is in a better place with her forever love! J

As far as the “not exciting” dress call. I definitely was NOT excited. My dress came in 2 months earlier than expected, just a few weeks after FI and I found out that my parents wouldn’t be able to contribute what they originally offered to pay for the wedding. I was in high-stress mode trying to figure out how to pay for it and the wedding and I just wasn’t in the planning excitement.

I actually just picked it up after having kept it at the salon since February… dropped it off at my mom’s, still love the dress, but not really excited cuz I’m so stressed about other things going on in life right now.

Post # 8
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s normal…the dress isn’t the most important part, and if you realize that, its easy to keep everything in perspective. I am sorry you are stressed. You’ll get excited again, after you have time to mourn.

Post # 9
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m very sorry KLP :(. I’m sure she & her husband are both happy to be reunited. & echo what melissabegins posted above.

You could think about doing a memorial or tribute or photo of FI’s gma at your wedding, to kinda honor her & maybe to help recognise that she is there with you even if its not physically.

I’d put off getting the dress for now, you’ll probably have to try it on for alterations & you don’t want to deal with that right now. Give it some time, then go have fun trying on your dress because I’m sure your FI’s gma wants you to be happy.

As far as getting the dress, I wasn’t extremely excited about getting it. I mean, I do love it, but I can’t wear it til the day, so I kinda just “forget” about having it. I advise that you should NOT look at other dresses thou!!

 

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