Post # 1
When I decided to go dress shopping, I knew I wanted my mom and my MOH to come with me, I wasn’t against or for the idea of my FMIL coming with, but my fiance said she had expressed desire to come with. I agreed, we’re on rocky terms but I figured maybe it would do us some good. Boy was I wrong.
She had absolutely nothing postivie or nice to say. Several times she made cracks at my weight. “Oh, you’re arm fat is so noticable in that one.” “Oh, that onemakes you look like a balloon.” She made so many comments like that. I attempted not to take them too seriously but I was getting agitated and it was making me upset if I’m honest. My weight is something I’m insecure about and I’m trying to lose it and I’ve lost a few pounds but I don’t know.
While i was in the changing room, she made a comment to my MoH that she thought that my FI and I shouldn’t be engaged or get married and that this whole thing was a big mistake. That comment kinda threw me for a loop. I started crying after my MoH told me that, after a few more comments that were less than helpful or just plain rude, enough was enough and I told her she had to leave. She had done nothing but critique me and make rude comments about me.
On top of feeling like a stuffed sausage already in these dresses, my FMIL probably hates me still, and I didn’t find anything I remotely liked. It was a disaster.
The kicker though? My FI called FMIL after I came home in tears and talked to her, she apparently said I was being bitchy and rude. Lord.
Post # 2
futuremrstx: Wow. I’m so sorry you had to put up with that. Why would she express interest in joining you if she was just gonna be rude? Did you fiance think you were at fault or does he know his mom was the problem?
Post # 3
You were right to kick her out. Her behavior was atrocious.
If that’s the way she acts, she should have as little to do with the planning of the wedding as possible.
I’m sorry that happened.
Post # 4
futuremrstx: your FI called her, is he taking your side? I hope he’s taking a stand and protecting you instead of playing “Switzerland”.
Post # 4
futuremrstx: And your mama stood for that behavior?? That woman has balls to be so nasty to a girl in front of her mother.
Post # 6
coffeedrinker: yeah….my mom would’ve definitely said something.
And yes OP the real question here is not what to do about your FMIL, it’s what did your FI do?
Post # 7
futuremrstx: I’m really sorry. Her behavior was unacceptable and it was right to kick her out. I’m hoping your FI chewed her out for her choices-did he? Also, I’m surprised your mom and MOH didn’t actually say anything to her when she was making such horrible comments. My mother would have torn my MIL apart if she had been saying things like that.
What has led to such a rocky relationship with your FMIL?
Post # 8
yeah. was your FI supportive of you or his mom?? that’s the most important thing.
Post # 9
futuremrstx: That sounds awful! Good for you for making her leave.
Post # 10
My FI is supportive of me 100% he knows how his mom has been around me recently (She’s been downright nasty) and while he doesn’t quite understand why. (She doesnt’ like me, plain and simple. Apparently I’ve been “using” him.) he’s siding with me. I also think FMIL is still upset that I’m taking her “Baby boy”
As far as my mom and MoH go, I know my MoH said something several times, but FMIL simply ignored her, and my mom told her she needed to quit it and FMIL stoppd for a bit and then was back at it.
I have another appointment with me, myself and I as well as the consultant this upcoming Thursday, so I’m hoping it goes better.
Post # 11
That sounds awful! Fortunately I learned from other people’s horror stories and only took my mom and grandma, two people I knew would be 100% supportive of me. They were actually almost too supportive haha, they said I looked great in every dress which didn’t exactly help narrow down my options! I think you’ll have a much more positive experience when you go alone, or maybe think about inviting someone who you know is ultra-positive.
It’s also great that your FI is supportive! That can really make all the difference sometimes when dealing with these touchy issues.