(Closed) My E-Ring dilemma AGAIN..LONG story sorry! NEED HELP!

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this! 🙁  I don’t know your personal financial situation, but I think sometimes, even if our brain feels like it’s ridiculous to spend the money or whatever else, you have to do what you want and get the ring that you love…assuming you can afford to.  Can you afford to pay for it too so it’s not all on him?  Then you’d have your sentimental ring from him and the “traditional” e-ring that you want.  I think if I were in your shoes, that’s what I would end up doing. It would cost a little more but at the end of the day you’d both be happy, and it would make this whole experience of being engaged/getting married more enjoyable instead of you feeling upset about your ring all the time.  There are lots of websites where you can get a great deal on a ring?

Post # 4
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well if it were me, I’d go for option 1. This sounds like a really expensive headache, and for what? Because you’re worried other people and their opinion of your ring? You love that he gave it to you, you have an emotional attachment to it, and you’re right, if you tried to sell it you’d likely end up losing more money.

Keep it, plan to upgrade (ugh I know) later on in life. For now look at the ring for what it represents, and not try to make it into a comparison of what others have. Hey I’d love a gigantic OMC diamond set by Leon Mege, but I love my sapphire ring. People have made comments about it looking more like a “cocktail ring” but for me it is perfection.

Post # 5
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think your idea of making a new ring with your grandma’s sounds beautiful, I’d look into that too! Lots of women have center stone rings made up of several smaller diamonds, they’re very sparkly, just bring your jeweler a picture of what you’d like and get an estimate, can’t hurt!

Post # 6
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

I think you HAVE to just get the ring you want.  I have alot of experience with just this dilemma.  I tortured myself over my ring for way, way too long.  I have been married or engaged to my husband for 7.5 years and here is the break down of the e-rings I have had:

1. Original kite set princess solitaire with contoured cathedral setting

2. Split shank vintage looking ring with same princess diamond

3. Round diamond halo engagement ring

4. Round diamond solitaire in the original coutoured cathedral setting

5. Current and final…round solitaire in a tiffany setting.

I kept trying to get close enough to something I loved.  All I did we spend alot of money and make my very patient husband tired of the process.  He finally told me, we are going to start over with exactly what you want.  I now love, love, love my ring.

All of this just shows that it is okay to change your mind.  My motto is “I don’t care if the ring changes as long as the man who gave it to me doesn’t.”

Post # 7
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly it sounds like you were happy with it when you bought the additional bands but then someone made you feel bad about it. If you like it then who cares what everyone else thinks, he hand picked it just for you and that makes it the most special ring on earth. I would keep it and maybe upgrade later, but i’m soooo sentimental.

Post # 8
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You should be able to be 100% happy with your ring. I would take it back and upgrade it now before you’re even more unhappy with it. My FI chose at the last minute to get me the smaller diamond and I haven’t been happy with it and I know it will cost more now to upgrade than it would have if we’d done it immediately.

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I was in the same boat as you. I didn’t LOVE my first ring. FI and I picked it out together, I liked it but did not love it. It was hard telling him that I didn’t love it but I did it. Well he was hurt for a little but was understanding. So I would say… You are going to have to live with a ring you don’t like, I don’t think you should have to, its your ring, and you will have to look at it forever. I know where you are coming from about finances, both FI and I are in college…So we don’t have a money tree lol. But money problems should not stop you from what you really want. Maybe get a moissy in the center, and diamonds on the side. I have moissanites for my center stone and side stones. They are really beautiful. And later on you can always upgrade to diamonds. Its easier to change the stones than to change a band. So maybe get a really nice looking band and use miossanites. Also I do think using your grandma’s ring would be really nice and you would always be able to look at it and be happy, your grandma wanted to give you that ring. So if you don’t want to buy a whole other ring I don’t think it would cost that much to have extra prongs put on her ring. 

Post # 10
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m not really sure if you dont like because other people think it doesnt look like an e-ring or because you just dont like it. You really shouldnt let other peoples opinions of the ring affect your decision.

Post # 12
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Try to post pics soon so we can be a little more creative with our advice. Sometimes a small change can give a ring a completely different look.

Post # 13
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

it’s one thing to not like your e-ring, that happens all the time.  but you bought two rings to make it look bigger and you’re still not happy? 

this might be making your fiance feel bad. 

I think you need to take a break at looking at other people’s rings.  you might start to like yours better if you give it some time and not think about what other people say, or what other people have.

I loved my ring so much before wedding bee, and even though I asked for a small diamond, I started to wish mine was bigger when I saw all the other beautiful rings out there. now several months have gone by and I don’t look at the ring forums as often. as a result, I”m starting to love my ring again as-is.

Post # 14
Member
347 posts
Helper bee

As someone who has been through a lot of ring drama this year, I can empathize.  And, I ended up with a small 3 stone ring, stones of all the same size, and I LOVE it.  My only total .46 but they sparkle so much, and I have long fingers too and wear a size 5.75/6.  I started off with an antique family ring, square ring that I had to solder two bands on each side so they would fit.  Wore than for over 10 years and finally changed it b/c of issues.  I got a 1.5 solitaire that I LOVED LOVED LOVED (stone from family friend who passed away) but found that it annoyed me wearing it daily (size would knock things, pull my hair out, worried I would scratch my son, etc…).  I sold that ring.  I had a 3 stone anniversary ring that I had made last year but the jeweler didn’t make it the exact way I wanted it – he did it the way I asked, but it wasn’t how I envisioned it.  So, after all this drama, I finally asked him to redo it again and now I love it.  My ring is tiny but it doesn’t get in the way at all and yes, it doesn’t look exactly like a traditional e-ring b/c the stones are all the same size, but I love it.  Sorry if my story is convoluted.  Here is my ring if it helps.  I wear a single band next to it b/c I feel like other bands (with diamonds) take away from it.  This picture doesn’t do my ring justice.  It sparkles so much in real life.

So…after all this…I guess my advice would be to keep your 3 stone, pay off the bands, enjoy it for now, and then get an upgrade when you can afford it (next week or in a month, year, etc…), and then wear the 3 stone as a right hand ring since it’s sentimental.  That’s just my own personal choice if it were me… I’ve spent enough money with having rings resized, made, etc…and while I would love bigger diamonds, I do love my ring now.  Best of luck!

Post # 15
Member
347 posts
Helper bee

@janie-janie:

I loved my ring so much before wedding bee, and even though I asked for a small diamond, I started to wish mine was bigger when I saw all the other beautiful rings out there. now several months have gone by and I don’t look at the ring forums as often. as a result, I”m starting to love my ring again as-is.

That’s what happened to me and why I went crazy over rings!  I don’t look as much now and really appreciate my ring much more!

Post # 16
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Can you post it? Maybe we could get some ideas!

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