Post # 1
I love my family, I really truly do.
My side of the family hasn’t helped at all with the wedding, I have basically just asked that they show up and look nice for pictures because I haven’t really ever been abel to count on them. Today we are about a month away from the wedding (which they will be traveling from out of state for). At this point, they don’t know when they’re coming, they haven’t made any reservations for the hotel, and no one has anything to wear.
My mom informed me yesterday that my brother is planning on wearing an untucked polo shirt with khaki’s (hasn’t bought them yet). I told her I didn’t think that was appropriate since he was going to be in pictures and my Dad and FI’s Dad were both wearing suits. I asked that he at least get a button down shirt to wear, not a tie or jacket, just the shirt. She was obviously annoyed and said he wouldn’t be comfortable in it, and that she would send him shopping with my Dad. I pretty much know he’ll wear the polo and they just won’t tell me until the day of. My mom hasn’t been dress shopping and neither has my sister. I know my Mom will wait until the last possible minute, and then just buy something she hates, and complain how uncomfortable she is. This is a well established pattern. I tried to help her by sending a bunch of dresses for her to consider, she hasn’t even looked at them.
Am I being completely unreasonable? They haven’t prepared at all, and they have a month. I have people asking me what they’re doing and I have nothing to tell everyone because they haven’t thought about it yet. Did everyone else’s family wait until the last second to do everything?
Post # 3
Meh. A month is a long time. I don’t usually book hotels for a wedding until maybe a week or 2 in advanced. The only time it gets done earlier is if a discounted rate is going to go away.
As far as dress shopping, they still have tons of time. So don’t freak out yet! Maybe you can offer to go with your mom and sister. Set up a nice girls’ day out. And maybe do the same for your brother. I would talk to him directly and not go through your mom. My little brothers were like that for a loooong time. They HATED dressing nicely and it was a big fight to get them to wear something besides a t-shirt and tennis shoes. But if you talk to him one-on-one and explain how much it would mean to you if he dressed up a bit, he might listen.
Post # 4
My entire family lives across country, I can’t go with them. I just wished they would plan, at my oldest sister’s wedding, my mom waited until 2 days before to go dress shopping. It’s just frustrating because I know I’m going to end up having to plan everything for them, they will wait and then just ask me to handle it two days before the wedding. :/
Post # 5
I feel your pain. My sister’s in the wedding party and hasn’t gotten her dress yet (I told them to pick their own in turquoise around a certain length and gave them a bunch of options that I’d found with my own research if they were stuck on ideas). My mom’s the same way.
Do you think you can go through your dad about your brother’s shirt? Or maybe offer to buy it yourself (just ask for his size), or ask her to bring one for him just for the pictures? I like the idea of a girl’s shopping trip with your mom and sister, but it sounds like they may be far away. Can you appeal to your sister and promise to return the favor for her, or is she too young to understand/help?
Post # 6
If they pulled it together for the other wedding, they’ll pull it together for yours. Just don’t stress it because you have more important things to worry about.
Post # 7
My family is like this too, then they are usually late to the whatever event. It causes so much stress! Is there any way you can shoppong with them and assign them something to wear?
Post # 8
Try not to stress. Yes it sucks, but this is who they are and nothing, not even your wedding, is going to change them.
Post # 9
I feel your pain. My mom passed away, and I never knew my father. I have 2 brothers, both in the wedding party and my brothers girlfriend of 7 years is a bridesmaid. My brotherand hours girlfriend live with me, and I can’t get them to order the bridesmaids dress. I’ve been hearing next week for 2 months now. My wedding is November 4th, and bridesmaids dresses that were ordered last Friday are not due in until Oct 27th. So it’s looking like I will just be down a bridesmaid. but to be honest, I’m kinda peeved about it. It’s not Like they pay a fortune in rent. It seems to me I bend over backwards cooking and cleaning, only charge them $200 a month rent, and my wedding is last on their list. Oh well, I guess I’ll have one less bridesmaid.
Post # 10
Try not to stress. If this is what they’re usually like, then it’ll probably turn out fine.
What crazy feels significantly more comfy in a polo over buttondown though? My SO wears a button down most days, even casually. It’s fabric, that’s all.