- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I am now 3 months out from my wedding. Since I have a huge family (14 aunts/uncles, 44 first cousins, etc) and my fiance has basically nothing, we dediced that we are going to have a small intimate wedding with less than 50 people. We found this great church which can only hold 60 so it’s perfect except for my family:
1st issue is my sister. She has been mingling in my relationship for the last 3 years always asking my fi “if he has a brother who is sexy and responsible like him”, trying to set me up with other guys, and calling him telling him that I may be cheating on him while I am on business trips. Finally 2 months ago, I had enough of it and cut her out of our lives. It is amazing how more secure we are as a couple without her throwing wrenches into the fire. I can’t wait to see what the family says when she is not at the wedding (sarcastic).
2nd, is that small guest list. yeah not happening. my mom insists that I invite allllllll of my family “since not all will show up”. but what if they do? I wont have enough food. I pushed my list to 70 and will not budge beyond that. That means that I have had to cut away from my friends for cousins that won’t even acknowledge me when we meet in the store.
3rd issue I wanted to hire professionals to cook, dj, all that fun stuff. but “that’s just not how my family does it”, so my brother-in-law is cooking the meats, mother is doing the sides. I am ok with that. DJ, Photography, and cake are professionals, and my sister is taking care of decorations (with me there to help since I’m a control freak). My mom keeps pushing other people onto me saying: “xxxx can do this, or can help with this, and you will need xxxxxxx to do this for the wedding”. aagguuuhhh.
4th issue: so back to #3 my brothers SO was mad that I didn’t give her a job. Since she is controlling and into details like me, I put her as my wedding coordinator for the day of to make sure that everybody gets to the ceremony, and the reception is ready for the guests. She was happy with this as she was a bit sour about going to the wedding since my brother has not married her yet after 12 years. That was 2 months ago. So last week, my mom called and said that my brothers SO can’t do that job because she wants to go to the wedding (she is trying to guilt my brother into marrying her), and wouldn’t even tell me.
5th issue: Mothers casual boyfriend (if you would even call him that). My parents are divorced, but get along. I was planning a “parents/grandparents” table right next to the head table with a total of 7 seats on a round table. She said that He wants to come to the wedding. I don’t want my father to feel wierd, and frankly her BF creeps me out. Whenever I am with her he wants a picture of me, or is always asking about me. She said it’s because he wants a redheaded child, but I don’t believe it. Even my FI gets a wierd vibe from him. You have to understand, my Step-father got really handsy with me when I was 14, and my mother did not believe me so I went to live with my dad. When I turned 22 my mother took me out partying, and I got pretty messed up. She took my car home, and sent me in her BF of 1 yrs’ car. He had to stop by his house to get cigarrettes (I stayed in the truck). He came out and started getting handsy, trying to get me to sleep with him. When I called her to come get me, she said he was just drunk and she would be there in a bit. He had the same wierd obsession about me as well: “he wants a redheaded daughter”. So back to present day. I do not trust mom’s “friends”. Current one has been around for 3 yrs but they only see each other around every 2 months to have XXX. He lives with his “ex-wife”, and grown daughter. Neither I, nor my fiance want him there. How to stick this in my mom’s head?
So see, they are driving me crazy. My Fiance tells me that I am beeing a doormat for my family, and that I need to stand up for myself. Yeah that’s probably true. Me being a redhead I find it hard to stand up for myself without biting somebodies head off. lol. I’m afraid that if I do actually take the wedding back and make it my OWN nobody will show up because I will become a bridezilla. What do I do? Me and my Fiance are paying for the whole deal since I knew that it would get more out of control if family chipped in.