Post # 1
I’m have a DW so I don’t really want a huge wedding party (there is only going to be like 30-40 guests). My mother and sister think I should have a wedding party which includes my sister, FI two sisters, my sister in-law. Groomsmen: his brother, my brother, and 3 brother in-laws.
I don’t want any of that. At most I would want my sister and his brother up there. That’s it. My family is telling me it’s going to cause drama and a major rift in the family if I don’t ask my new sister-in-law to be in the wedding. (brother’s wedding was in July). I don’t want her in it, I can tolerate her but she is by NO means my friend. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (especially my brother) but I don’t feel comfortable with her in it.
What should I say or do if I only want my sister and his brother up there?
Post # 3
@Lily_of_the_valley: Just let them know that your wedding is small and you want just one witness on each side. If you have half the guests in the bridal party standing up with you then you will have no guests in the audience watching the wedding!! I find it super annoying when people try and push other people (family members) into the wedding saying people will “get mad” I think they just say that so you feel obligated to do it.
Post # 4
Wow, that is way too many people. And there is no rule that anyone HAS to be in the wedding party–they’re being ridiculous.
Post # 5
You need to stand your ground and say no! They will get over it
Post # 6
Just tell them you guys only want 2 attendants.
Post # 7
Tell them they need to back off and the subject is not up for discussion. There’s no rule saying your FSIL has to be a bridesmaid, especially if you have no real relationship with her.
Is it a full moon? It seems like a lot of people are getting bullied by their families today.
Post # 8
You’re having a small wedding, if you include all those people that are 20-30% of everyone attending! That feels very unbalanced.
Our wedding is similar to yours, DW and 30-40 guests and we’ll have two bridesmaids and one best man. If anyone would push me to include more, I would just say that due to the size of the wedding we feel like this is the largest our wedding party could possibly be. However, family members are more than welcome to help in other ways (readings for example).
Post # 9
Have a MOH and BM and say that’s it.
Post # 10
If having only your one and only sister in the wedding party causes a “huge rift” in the family, your mom didn’t do her job. Shoot.
Post # 13
Tell them to back off – it’s your big day & you can choose to include how ever many in your bridal party you wish.
Post # 14
I feel for you. You just have to put your foot down. If you um and ahh about it they will continue to try and persuade you, so be firm. It is YOUR wedding and seems a little silly for half of the guests to be in it! They will get over it.