My family is so uninterested in our wedding! Anyone else?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
829 posts
Busy bee

Our families lost interest because we never actually started planning anything and the engagement has been too many years for them to keep caring, I guess. Whatever- now we have enough money but their lack of enthusiasm makes me less and less interested in throwing a big party and feeding them, so the wedding continues to get postponed.

 

Post # 4
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Weddings bring out the worst and the best in famiies. It is probably like you said since it has been called off a couple of times, they may think it will never happen.  Try not to let it discourage you and don’t let their doubt ruin your excitement, you can never get it back. 

Post # 6
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

MissComicBook:  I am right there with you! I’m a little afraid down the road that all of a sudden my family is going to start caring or insisting or making demands, but for now, they can’t be bothered to care! I’ve heard that once the wedding is “about to happen” family and friends will really start to get excited, I guess we will see if that is true? It is a little sad not to have any supporters or fans, but I try to remind myself that my family at least could easily cause friction and drama if they did get involved so I should probably be grateful. Sometimes I still want someone to get crazy excited with me, though! Hopefully for you, once your family really sees that your wedding is happening, they will become more involved and excited.

Post # 7
Member
2549 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I live really far from my family and my SO’s family is so distracted with their own lives… and my FMIL currently hates us. But to be honest, I love that we get to plan our wedding with little to no input.  No one is trying to convince us to do it differently.  The only thing I care for someone besides my SO to be there for is dress shopping, and luckily my sister is visiting for Christmas! 

Post # 8
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Unfortunately not everyone gets the hunky dory family wedding planning experience- in your case I get the delays have lots to do with it. Sort of old news that’s lost it’s momentum. I would just realign your expectation and hope that closer to people get excited.

 

Post # 9
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Are your families going through any rough times, either financially, emotionally, or physically? Do you think that maybe your mom thinks the wedding might get put off again? Does she like your fiance? Sit down and have a heart to heart with her. Don’t attack her with words, just tell her how you are feeling. Then listen to what she has to say. If you don’t like what she has to say, don’t tell her that right away. Think about it for a while and manage your feelings, then have another chat. Once you get mom on board, everyone else will follow. 

Post # 10
Member
282 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, my fiance’s mom has been interested in the wedding, but she hasn’t liked a lot of the choices I’ve made.  I’ve asked my mom for her opinion on things, and she just says, “I don’t know anything about weddings. My opinion wouldn’t be useful.”  It makes me feel both angry, and hurt.  My fiance’s mom is very traditional and has “fancy” taste, whereas my mom has never been around that kind of thing.  She doesn’t know about etiquette and I think she is worried she’ll look dumb if she does make a suggestion.  I’ve told her that I value her opinion so much, but it hasn’t changed.  It’s tough.

Post # 11
Member
3002 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

MissComicBook:  FI’s family could absolutely care less about the wedding. They have been uninterested from the start. At first, it was very hurtful because my family was so happy and excited about it-but then FI’s family couldn’t even manage a simple “congratulations.” Now, nine months later, I’m looking on the brightside. Is it still hurtful? Absolutely. But now I don’t have to worry about dealing with unwanted criticism or opinions or suggestions for the wedding. I won’t have any MIL drama stories (hopefully) about how she was too involved or too opinionated or demanded too much, etc. 

Just try to manage your expectations a little bit. Sadly, no one else will be as excited about your wedding than you are (and possibly your FI). It’s a hard lesson to learn. 

Post # 12
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Use this situation to your advantage. Look at it this way – many people have the opposite problem. Family members are all over them, telling them what to do.

Post # 13
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

I’d be happy if my family didn’t ask about it until the month before just so I didn’t have that “oh you should do this” crap… I understand where you’d want someone to ask how the planning is going but just keep planning it how you want and you’ll start getting questions around when the invitations go out and then you’ll be wishing no one was asking you haha

Post # 14
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

MissComicBook:  Be careful what you wish for…. It is such a delicate balance between not interested in overbearing.  Weddings and funerals really do bring out the worst in people, and sometimes people you thought would be happy for you arent, and I know this personally and it is painful, but just look how much closer it will bring you are your future hubby together on making decisoins without interferance from others. 

I hope it gets better for you and maybe once you get closer to the date people will get a little more excited.  Another Bee said it best, everybody doesnt get that great family experience, but you can still make the best of it.

Post # 15
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MissComicBook:  People will get excited the closer it gets. I was the third wedding in 2 years of my immediate family so my fam was like oh thats nice haha whenever anything wedding related came up

My FIs family..yeah never asked, didnt care too much to be involved…but after being on these boards that was likely a blessing haha!

 

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