Post # 1
It’s been an interesting January for sure. My father had a mild heart attack while on vacation in New Zealand which turned into triple bypass surgery. Scared the crap out of my sisters and I as his cardiologist in the states said he didn’t have enough healthy tissue to graft a bypass the last time he had an angiogram and stents.
He survived the surgery and has been out of the hospital five days now. They are still in NZ, recovering. He is very emotional about it, which has been hard the couple of times I’ve been able to speak to him. I just tell him about FI’s and my lives and plans and to do what the doctors say and get well. If he’s a model patient he’ll actually be recovered well enough to enjoy our wedding in August, just shy of seven months after the bypass.
Of course, as it’s me I’ve been worried about every scenario. For days, I was afraid I’d have no parent at our wedding (my mother passed away over ten years ago) and all of the vendors were hired by the end of the year with deposits paid and payments pending. I’m still afraid this will happen. My father’s track record in the model patient area is part of the reason this happened. This wasn’t his first heart attack.
My issue is that my enthusiasm for the wedding has pretty much evaporated since this happened–it all seems like a big stack of pending bills for a four-hour exercise in frivolous spending and attention-grabbing. Now I KNOW this is a normal reaction given what happened and that for three days, I went to work with my passport and big credit card in my purse ready to book a $3000 ticket to Auckland on a moment’s notice. I’m hoping that once he’s home and I see him, planning our big day will be exciting again. We planned our honeymoon, but it seems scary right now, planning to go away for ten days.
And yet, more than ever, it’s important to me that he be there. I’m even thinking of changing our ceremony plans so he can “give me away” just so he’s happy and has that to look forward to.
My FI has been wonderful. He’s even stepping up his enthusiasm for his part of the planning–bought his shoes last Sunday and is starting on the invitations this weekend.
Anyway–thought I would post, perhaps some other bees have gone through something similiar, and can offer some advice. I want to enjoy our wedding day, regardless of what happens, guilt-free and properly.
Post # 3
I can’t say I’ve gone through anything similar, but I’m really sorry that’s happening to you .
Hang in there.
Post # 4
I had somewhat of a similar situation! 2 weeks after I got engaged my dad wasn’t feeling too well, he went to see his doctor – they send him to the hospital for some tests and he never got to leave the hospital! They basically told him that he needs to have a bypas surgery now because if he doesnt he will most likely have a heart attack any minute. So he had surgery – and throughout all of that time I sat there thinking to myself what am I going to do if my dad can’t walk me down the aisle. I do have a mom though, so it wouldn’t have been an issue of not having a parent there but still – I always felt it was my dads job.
Long story short – he had his surgery, he recovered way before our wedding and is perfectly fine now! 🙂 try to stay positive and good things will happen. I know it can be very emotional because for me it was a big emotional rollercoaster, but as long as you do your best to stay positive you will be ok. I wish I had better advice, but I really don’t 🙁 just go on with wedding planning and know that he’ll be there for you.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry 🙁 My father has had a heart attack before, AND a quadruple bypass. It was devastating to see my dad in so much pain, and hooked up to so many machines. He was far from a model patient (he gave those nurses so much trouble!) but he was fine within a couple of months.
Maybe take a break from the wedding planning until your dad is home and resting? I know that for me, I felt A LOT better when my dad was home from the hospital, making jokes, acting like himself, and getting his appetite back. I think once he’s home and healing, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief and be ready to hop right back on wedding planning!
Post # 6
I have/am going through this with my father, he has major health issues and is not a model patient either so I totally get where you are coming from. I have literally broken down bawling to my dad about how if he doesn’t do what the doctors say he’ll never see his current (my nephews) grow up and he’ll never see my future (maybe) children. He gets upset and says he’ll do what he’s told because he can see how much it hurts us all but then he’ll slide back in to not doing what he is supposed to. After the latest bout (in hospital for over a month) he has promised to do what he is told and take meds when he’s told everyday so he gets better.
I guess I don’t really have advice but wanted to let you know that I’m currently going through something similar and have been for years, feel free to PM me if you want. I hope your dad starts listening to orders!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
I can sympathize. My dad had a few heart attacks and strokes a few years ago (well, almost ten now!). It’s scray worrying how things can change in an instant. I hope your dad has a speedy recovery and listens to his doctors (mine refuses to).
Post # 8
Wow…thanks everyone, it helps a lot to know there are others out there who have found themselves in this situation.
Post # 9
I feel for you! I am literally going through the exact same thing with my dad….if you ever need support I know where your coming from!