- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Ughhhhh. Father history: Loud, drinks in almost all social situations, obnoxious, ego issues, beat up my mom when I was 2 (which is why we left). My father was going to walk me down the aisle, then pass me to my stepfather, who would pass me to FI.
One hour before the rehearsal, FI and I met my father, his FI, and my brother in the “pub” at our venue. He was already sloshed. When my father get drunk, he gets emotional, cries, clingy, awkward and downright creepy. I told him and his FI to stop drinking (in a light hearted way). I told him he had to behave himself at the rehearsal. They said there was nothing to worry about.
Rehearsal begins, I am in tears just for the fact that my father is drunk ALREADY. (We still had a dinner to go to, with lots of homemade wine from FFIL and MY father). Rehearsal begins, my father and I are at the end beginning of the aisle getting ready to walk down. While waiting for the BM’s to walk down, my dad’s arm is around me, he’s kissing me on the cheek, squeezing me, it was GROSS. He was totally embarassing.
We start walking down, he’s sobbing pretty much. Wasted. Out of his mind. I saw my stepdad in the “fake rows” and a light went on: CRAP I FORGOT TO TELL MY DAD AND STEPDAD ABOUT MY PLAN. So I felt awful for my stepdad, as he has more of a right to pass me to FI in my eyes, and said something like “Oh crap I forgot, you (dad) are passing me to Rich (stepdad) and then he’s giving me to Brent”. So everyone was like “Oh? We didn’t know!” and my dad went into the “fake row”.
I was then passed to FI, looked back, and smiled at my dad. I knew he was probably like “WHAT?”, so my smile was like a “Hey! Everythings-ok-and-I-still-like-you smile”.
All of a sudden, my dad shouts. WAIT. I HAVE A PROTEST. The approaches me, FI, and my stepdad (who had not had the chance to step away yet.) He started yelling “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IN MY DAUGHTERS LIFE”. I knew where it was going with his yelling, I was already ad at him for being drunk, I got in his face, pushed him, and pointed my finger on his nose saying, “dad you WILL NOT DO THIS TO ME today.”
He didn’t even notice, sort of thrwew me off him and charged at my stepdad. I threw down my shower bouquet, screamed “FU** THIS!!” and ran away only to have a panic attack (not joking.) on the grass. FI and BM’s came to the rescue.
Later I find out. My dad tried to hit my stepdad, so my brother stepped in took him to the ground. My dad wouldn’t stop yelling at everyone and all I could do was scream “WHY IS HE DOING THAT MAKE HIM STOP!!”. Meanwhile, there’s another wedding going on in the garden nex to us, 2 of their GM’s came over to see if they could help.
The owners of the venue called the police. My dad was almost arrested but when he agreed to leave the property I guess they didn’t arrest him. Thank God he didn’t hit anyone. I would have blown him up. My dad was told he could stay there until MIDNIGHT (It was like 6pm) to sleep it off, but had to leave the property. So a BM escorted them to another nearby hotel where they simply ignored her directions and drove for the highway, back home, 2 hours away.
My dad called me, I ignored it. I listened to the voicemail, he was screaming “NICOLE I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU” and told me that I disrespected him and I didn’t listen to all of it because he blamed my forgetting to tell him the PLAN (very important, big mistake!!!!!!) on his actions. He said I made him act that way.
Being a CRISIS WORKER on a SUICIDE HOTLINE, I knew I did not cause him to act that way, so I told him so (in a text, no way in hell was I going to talk to him). He called back, I ignored, but didn’t listen to the voicemail right away. I was trying to calm down, at the dinner, everyone was like zombies due to the incident that happened at the rehearsal, which, by the way there were about 30 people there who saw the entire thing- (OOT guests, BP, immediate family).
When I listened to the voicemail later, he told me to “rot in hell”, “you never disrespect your ITALIAN FATHER” (he’s as Italian as jarred sauce), and that I can “die” and more horrible awful things. He called my mother a “whore” and my stepfather a “fat fu**”, he told me “Fu** you” and said to “Fu** all FI’s family” (they have never done anything but be hospitalbe to him).
The next day (WEDDING DAY), I find out my father called his family and told them they can’t come to the wedding because he WAS JUMPED AT THE REHEARSAL. So I sent him a message saying, “You can suck it!!” (hahaah) and then he told me to rot in hell again so I said, “Does Rhonda (dad’s FI) know how you beat up my mom? Well fu** you for that too.” That was the last I heard from him, so it’s been about 2 weeks.
I know me texting him those things was not THE BEST idea. But, I’m not too upset about it. I have been waiting for years to tell him f-you for beating my mother up.
Now.. I don’t know what to do. I am in a place where I am still very angry (as you can prob tell, I’m ok with that) and sort of heartbroken at the same time. I do not want to reconcile at this point. I do not know if I ever will. What would you do.. Is there anything I can do? It’s just.. very weird.
Sad, too. He opted not to give me the $5,000 he promised me for the food, since he didn’t even attend. Several family members who saw the whole ordeal pitched in. It was a very bittersweet wedding. I felt so loved by my family and friends.