- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
Don’t get me wrong, I love my FFIL; however, due to his inability to realize his actions effect others has caused problems in the past and currently is weighing on my FI and I. My FFIL is the type of guy who speaks before he think sometimes and what he says can be hurtful but we know he doesn’t even think about it, he thinks of himself. No matter how many times one might ask him to not do something or to do something, he doesn’t follow the requested wish basically ever. He doesn’t listen is basically the problem.
My FI and I are getting married next year over Labor Day weekend. We have family, we hope, will be able to make it out for the wedding who will come from other states. We hope that by having the wedding on a holiday weekend they won’t have to worry about taking extra vacation to cover travel time since the wedding is on a Sunday and they can go home on Monday (the actual Labor Day holiday).
Several weeks ago my FI was at his parent’s home working on a welding project–our current home doesn’t have an area to keep all his tools and stuff so he works over there from time to time. His father came out and started talking about a reunion he was hoping to attend next year Sept. 8-10th. He asked if we were firm on our wedding date. FI said yes. FFIL said that was great and good and he would still of course attend our wedding because he wants to and it’s important, but he wanted to make sure he could hopefully attend the reunion at a National Park location where he used to work. My FI thinks he was hoping we would change our date due to the conversation they had, but FI isn’t exactly sure.
Ever since then, everytime we all gather for dinner, my FFIL brings up the reunion and how it’s right after our wedding and he’ll probably leave the day after our wedding to go to the National Park where this reunion is being held….FYI it’s a reunion for a certain group of workers at the park, not a family reunion type thing. FI gets pretty ticked and just ignores him and does something else because he doesn’t want his dad talking about it because it’s all basically rude. I’m guessing this has happened three times that at dinner he’s brought up our wedding date and the reunion and we feel he is hinting about changing the date. Sorry, we have made a deposit, not happening.
Well, last night he, again, asked if we were firm on our date and we both said “yes” at the same time. This time though he said he thought how funny it was that we happened to pick a date that forced them (FMIL and FFIL–even though FMIL isn’t going!) to change their plans because of our wedding date but they didn’t know they would have to change their plans until recently when they found out about the reunion at the National Park. ::sigh:: I couldn’t believe it. I politely told him we were not changing our date, FMIL stated (again) we weren’t changing or wedding date for anything, and if he still wanted to go the park then leave several days after…..we are contimplating having a morning after breakfast or brunch as a “goodbye” for the family leaving the day after the wedding.
My question is, what do I do about this? Do I just start to ignore him? I wish he would stop bringing it up and stop making us feel bad that he can’t leave a full week before — like he had wanted/planned to do. I really wish my FI and FMIL would say something to him, but we all know it will be a waste of time. My FFIL just doesn’t get it and never will.
Sorry this was so long and I hope it actually made sense.