- 3 years ago
Hi bees, I’m basically asking a question for my FH here. He is probably 50 pounds “overweight” for his height (6′, 250lb) and is trying to lose 30 pounds for our wedding one year from now. He’s had a lot of pressure at work the last 3 years, and so stress eating and a sedentary lifestyle caused the weight gain. He has recently become very self conscious about it and does not want to take our engagement photos (or wedding photos) until he’s lost a significant amount of weight. (FYI, I have never said a word about his weight until he’s brought it up recently. When I met him he was already overweight, and I have no problems being attracted to him. I do feel bad when he seems to feel bad about himself, and that can be a turn-off sometimes.)
The issue is, he doesn’t want to go on a “full-on” diet (due to some form of weird ego or pride – he doesn’t like to think of himself as fat). I’m basically afraid he will make very slow progress and get discouraged, then feel worse, then gain more weight, then the vicious cycle continues. Here are the changes he can make: exercise 3-4 times a week, usually 20 minutes each time walking/jogging. Eat breakfast everyday, eat smaller portions (but only like a little smaller, for example instead of getting 3 helpings he’ll eat 2), try to snack on fruits and vegetables, try to not eat before bed. He will not eat “healthy diet food” like bland chicken/veggies, he won’t count calories, and he will not cut out the occasional beer or dessert. <br /><br />QUESTION: Do you think these changes will be enough for him to see progress in the next few months so he can be encouraged to keep up with it? Any advice on how I can help him reach his goal?
P.S. I am treading very carefully in terms of trying to support him and help him make healthy choices, but also don’t want to offend him. We just had a recent blow up at a sandwich place where he wanted to order the “giant” sandwich “to see what it looked like”, and me telling him why not just stick with the regular one because he’ll just end up finishing whichever one he gets… he was NOT happy with me. It also doesn’t help that my whole family is skinny, and his mom is a doctor, and they keep asking how his wedding diet is going. I’m torn between wanting to help him and wanting to give him a break.