My FI and I are polyamorous: Ask me anything!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

What does this mean?  You’re in an open relationship?  Do you sleep with other people?

Post # 3
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hi there! I had to look up the word. A couple things strike me as interesting about this non-manogamy.

1) obviously you and your fiance consent to this type of relationship and are open to you being involved with others…does your families know?

1a) do you include your additional boyfriends and girlfriends at family get togethers or birthday parties?

2) if your other BFs and GFs want to go out on a date as your fiance do you ever say yes to them and not your main love?

3) do you ever sleep 3 or 4 in the bed?

4) is it difficult to be supportive when the additional bfs and gfs break up with the fiance? (I would be like “why are you strung out over her! You got me! Im your favorite anyway, right??)

5) do you have input and say over each other’s additional bfs and gfs? Do you act as each other’s wing person?

6) when and how do you share with the extra people they are participating in a poly relationship? 

7) how long do the other relationships typically last?

Post # 4
8 posts

Are there any jealously issues?


Post # 5
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

SilverWire:  I posted questions, but you didn’t answer. Hmm

Post # 6
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

CurlyCue:  Shes probably working on the response still lol… those are all excellent questions.  Do you guys ever run into jealousy problems?  Thats the biggest part I cant wrap my head around because I tend to get jealous.

Post # 9
4742 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

SilverWire:  I guess my question would be: If you want to be open and continue to see and have relationships with other people, why do you feel the need to get married? Do your other relationships feel less significant to you because you will have a husband? I’m all for doing whatever you want in life, but I guess I’m just curious what the point would be to getting married? Do you plan to have kids? If so, are you open to having them with the other relationships or only with your husband? What if you husband got someone else pregnant?

Post # 10
602 posts
Busy bee

CurlyCue:  I’ll reply for myself, as we’re also poly.

1) If it gets serious enough, it may be mentioned.

1a) If we’re at that level of relationship, then yes. However, it may not be mentioned the nature of the relationship.

2) Not everyone has a main love, but yes seperate dates do happen.

3) Occasionally, but I can’t tolerate it unless I’m on the edge. =P

4) Not really… Just because you still have important people in your life doesn’t mean you aren’t upset when others leave.

5) Yes, and yes, sometimes.

6) I don’t really understand this question.

7) Typically less than a year, but it’s never ended because of the polyamory.

Post # 11
97 posts
Worker bee

How are you able/why do you want to marry him? Aren’t you worried you will find someone better as I guess a favorite? 

Post # 12
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m curious about CurlyCue’s questions as well! I have a couple more:

1. How did you find each other? I think people who would want/be ok with that kind of relationship are a minority, so I’m curious as to how that came up when you started dating.

2. Similar to question 1, how do you find other people who are ok with it to also be in relationships?

3. Do you have any ground rules, even unspoken ones?

Post # 13
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why? Why not commit to just your FI?

I feel like this is a way of getting set up for heart break. You say you can develop feelings for other partners, but you know those partners are only temporary. You already have a husband to be, you can’t really have 2. 

What if you fall head over heels in love with another partner? 



Post # 14
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What I read online is that everyone is fully informed in a poly relationship so at some point you would have to let the additional people know what the deal is. “I have a serious boyfriend and he will know about our relationship.”


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