1) His mother knows (he doesn’t have a relationship with his father), but his siblings don’t because they’re still pretty young. I assume we’ll tell them when we think they’re old enough to understand. My parents don’t know, but my brother and sister do. Surpisingly, they all reacted pretty well. His mother doesn’t really get it, but my siblings are completely supportive. Our extended families don’t know, but we aren’t close with any of them.
1a) I’ve invited partners to mine to family events, but introduced them as “friends”. However, if either of us got into a serious relationship with someone we would happily invite them along and introduce them properly. But at the moment it would be a little more trouble than it’s worth.
2) My FI and I date seperately as well as together, so we do go out without each other if a person is only with one of us. When we’re both dating a person we tend to go out as a group, but I don’t think either of us would have an issue going out without the other.
3) We actually intentionally got a large bed so that we could fit more than two people in it. We have slept three in bed a couple of times, and when we’re both dating the same person we make an effort to sleep as a group so that our partner doesn’t feel left out or uncomfortable.
4) It actually isn’t difficult. I think both of us understand that our feelings for each other are seperate from our feelings for other people. Breaking up is not fun and feeling sad is normal.
5) We have veto power for partners, but we almost never use it. It’s mostly out of respect for each other. I wouldn’t want to date someone who made my FI uncomfortable, or who he didn’t like for whatever reason (and I trust his judgement). And he feels the same way. And yes, we have helped each other meet/date people. It’s a lot of fun, really. It’s nice to help my significant other having a good time.
6) We are very strict about being open with our additional partners. Before we date or sleep with anyone we make sure to tell them that we have a serious partner and that we are in an open/poly relationship. Some people stop being interested in us, some people don’t care at all, and some people put things on hold until they can meet the other partner and make sure it’s really okay.
7) It varies depending on the relationship, and also depending on which one of us it is. My FI tends more toward one night stands and short, mostly sexual relationships. I tend to find someone I like and stay with them for a long time. My current boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months, and my last partner and I were together for a little over a year.