My FI called me a "big girl" last night and I just can't get over it!!!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If a man ever told me that I would tell to go fuck himself and kick his ass to the curb. Sorry if a man can’t love you for who you  are they are not worth it. 

Post # 3
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are you, perhaps, married to my husband? Seriously. That is totally something my husband would say. And I would look at him and say “Excuse me?!?” and tell him that was horribly inappropriate and would be pissy with him for a bit. Then I’d get over it. Because I know that while he says stupid things, he loves me and thinks I’m hot, so it’s not worth holding a grudge. But seriously dude! Not cool! 

Post # 4
Member
7265 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Did he apologize for making the insensitive comment?

Sometimes I think guys forget that we are already our harshest critics and tend to be really sensitive about these things.

Post # 5
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way you are taking it.  5’7 size 8 sounds like a perfectly normal size to me… in his mind he was probabaly thinking you’re not a small/short tiny build so you wont be some small weight, and it just came out wrong.  I mean, at 5’7, you’re certainly not petite for a woman… that doesnt mean I’d call you big, but if things are just black and white to him, he probably just meant you’re not a tiny woman, but it just came out as you’re big. 

Post # 7
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think he may have just meant you are a big girl as in you are tall.  Taller girls weigh more than short girls.  I had to do a quick conversion as I’m Australian but you certainly seem in a healthy weight range.  I think the fact you are so sensitive about this could be the real issue here, if my FI said something like that to me I’d probably laugh and playfully punch him on the arm.  To dwell on a thoughtless comment for so long is unhealthy.  You’ve said you’ve already told him off, what did he say?  Did he just give you a frightened/shocked/sheepish look?  If so, he probably didn’t mean it to sound as it came off, he’s with you so he thinks your gorgeous so I would just tell him how it sounded if you haven’t already and then let it go.  Perhaps focus on doing some little things to make you feel beautiful?

Post # 9
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Eh, I mean my FI told me I have tree-trunk thighs once. I was mortified, pissed, upset…and now I’m over it. You, in time, will be too. Men can say some pretty insensitive things, and as long as he apologized, you should move on. 

Post # 10
Member
328 posts
Helper bee

cuppeeecakes:  Yeah, that kind of sounds like my guy.  When dudes talk about sizes like that, they usually don’t mean it with a negative connotation like we normally do.  He was just being a blockhead, I’m sure he wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.  How did he react when you told him off?

Post # 13
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Oh men.  I’m sure he just meant that you were tall and not a tiny diminutive thing.  

My husband is the sweetest man alive, and I’ve heard him tell a female friend that she had “mankles” (as in man ankels – he thought this was a compliment?!? – strong ankles to propel her on lots of activities!) and another that she looked haggard (he was trying to express concern that she seemed/looked tired – wrong word choice, buddy).  

So yeah.  That stuff happens.  As long as he realizes he did the wrong thing and will remember not to use sensitive language like that in the future, it’s really on you to forgive him and move on…  Just think about his poor sad little face and realize he really didn’t mean it.

Post # 14
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

kendra389:  I think there is a big difference in saying you have “tree-trunk thighs” (I would have wacked him!!) and saying you’re a “big girl” when talking about what kind of weight you’d have. 

cuppeeecakes:  You obviously know what he meant and it makes sense so I doubt he is just backpeddling.  I really don’t see why you would spend a whole night crying about it. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors