Post # 1
So ever since I was about 16, I’ve wanted to get surgery on my breasts (I have a deformity and makes me really self conscious when I’m intimate with FI or in a bathing suit). My FI just told me that after the wedding we can either ttc or I can get the surgery. Everyone’s telling me to get the surgery because once we start having kids, it’ll be next to impossible to do something like that for yourself. However, all our friends are getting pregnant and I see how happy they are about extending their family and so I’m being pulled in both directions. My FI loves me just the way I am, so do I really want us to spend 7k on a surgery that would only give me more self confidence? or do I just learn to live with it (as I have for years) and ttc?
Oh and the surgery wouldn’t be to get my breasts bigger, just to reconstruct and rescore the tissue.. if that makes a difference. Not worried about the sagging or anything after a baby.
Post # 3
I’d definitely TTC without question. I don’t have large boobs or anything but 7K is a lot of money on something I just don’t find important. I only know one person whose ever had a boob job and she really regretted it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
first off, you need to look into the effects that the surgery will have on your ability to breastfeed (if that’s your choice). Second of all, if you choose to breastfeed, it will affect the shape and density of your boobs.
If you are set on having the surgery why not wait until you’re done having kids and then get it done?
Post # 5
@Quicksand: I’m confused… do you even want kids? This shouldn’t be a either/or… it should be, an “am I ready and wanting kids right now?”
Post # 6
@Quicksand: I would agree with others who have told you that after you have kids this ship has sailed and you probably won’t get another opportunity to have the surgery. So, you should decide how much you want to get the surgery. If you think it’s worth the 7k and waiting to TTC, then you should absolutely do it now. You’re going to have to make the decision on your own, though, because you are the only one who can determine how much the surgery is truly worth to you. If it’s something you feel you want to have done, then by all means do it. Luckily you aren’t choosing between one or the other, just choosing whether or not to wait a bit to TTC.
Post # 7
@LDay1983: The doctor told me it wouldn’t be a problem.. however, with the deformity I have there’s only a 50% chance I’ll be able to breastfeed without surgery..
Post # 8
@Quicksand: If you know you want baby(s) I would go babies first, you don’t know what pregnancy will do to your tatas. It doesn’t make sense to go messing with them to ‘fix’ them just to have a baby screw them back up again.
Post # 9
@whycantwejustgetalong: I definitely want kids, as does my FI. However, we can only afford one at a time. So it’s either surgery and wait two years or start right away with ttc. I’d love nothing more than to ttc right away. I’ve wanted nothing more than to be a mom for a couple years now. Though, I’ve also never been financially stable enough to afford a surgery that I’ve wanted for 8 years and my FI has told me once kids are in the mix it won’t be happening.
Post # 10
@Quicksand: I would try to conceive (assuming I wanted a baby now). You can definitely find/make time after kids to get this done. I am going to need some cosmetic surgery as well (skin removal and breast lift) because I lost a lot of weight (100+ pounds) and doctors advised me to wait until after kids as it would change a lot of my body.
Also, not sure if you have looked into this, but if this is a deformity, it could be considered a medical issue and your insurance may cover part or all of it. I know someone that had literally no breasts and she was able to get surgery covered 80%. I’d also look into getting a good breast pad for when I wore bathing suits. Google a few episodes of Double Divas and you will see what I mean.
Post # 11
I think you do breasts. This is not a boob job, but a surgery to correct a deformity that has bothered you for years and makes you self-concious. Is there a factor that makes you think it would be better to have kids right away (age, health issues, etc.)? If not, you will still have kids, just a bit later. Whatever you think is best for both of you. Once you have kids, it will be all about them. I would do something for myself first.
Post # 12
@Quicksand: I would do the boobs first then, since it’s something you said you’ve always wanted. Then, you can really be ready for kids in a couple years
Post # 13
I can’t believe I’m the first to say this, but your fiance told you that you can do one or the other??? Why is that his decision? If there are medical reason to not do them at the same time, then that is fine. But if this is a financial concern, this should be a discussion, not a decree. But to your point, if it’s important to get the surgery I’d do that first, because your friends are right – it will be much harder after a child.
Post # 14
@Quicksand: so if you do boobs, how does it affect your kid timeline? I vote boobs because if you’ll be more confident, you’ll be a stronger role model for your kid. Just sayin.
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Quicksand: If you’re even considering getting boobs before TTC then get the boobs.
And your husband’s thought about not having the time for surgery after having a kid, does he think you are going to be caring for it nonstop 24/7/365? Or does he plan to help out from time to time?
You’re young and there’s plenty of time for TTC. If getting boobs will make you feel better about yourself, go for it.
Post # 16
i would go for surgery. if you’re more comfortable, and more confident, then you’ll be happier.
as someone who had breast reduction surgery, it was the best thing i ever did. and i don’t regret it. it might have effected my ability to breastfeed, but i don’t care. because i’m happier, i’m more comfortable, and i don’t regret it.