Post # 1
Ohhh LONG story short! My Fiance family is one of the rudest, meanest, cruelest family you will EVER meet. Lets just put it this way. When me and my Fiance son was born back in june of 08, i gave birth 2 months early due to pre eclampsia and our son was in the NICU for 2 weeks. They never once came to visit us in the hospital. When they finally met our son my Fiance dad refused to touch the baby because he said that we were just going to take the baby away from them anyway so he was even gonna bother to get close. Never once did they come see their grandchild but when their 13 year old daughter was in the hospial for chrones disease they let everyone and their brother know how we didnt come visit her or even call. They talk about us behind our backs like we are rotten people. I hate to think people like them exsist but they do. And what I just said doesnt even cut it. I could go on and on with stories!
Obviously my Fiance has chosen not to have such people in our lives so we really dont talk to them. Well my Fiance works alot and has really pulled away from close friends back in high school that really havnt grown up. So hes kinda in this weird stage of finding “adult” guys friends. I feel so bad for him cause he asked an old friend to be his Best man and the guy accepted then a few months later dropped out. My Fiance now has only one of my cousins and his brother to stand up for him. This is where it gets sticky. His brother is only 17 and is mentally challenged and obviously still lives with Fiance mean parents. We chose to invite my Fiance parents to the wedding because they are is family and everyone deserves to have their family at their wedding. At first they were all for going but awhile ago they wrote my Fiance on myspace (yeah how classy is that??) and said “We will not be attending the wedding. Your brother can still be in it but we will not subject ourselves to the hurt you will cause us by us coming to your wedding and then you deciding to push us out of your life again”. Sorry for my language but what a prick! So my Fiance will not have a single family member or 1 friend at our wedding. But he is such a trooper and I love him SO much for that.
Now I’m scared. Im scared that his fam will pull some bull sh*& and the week or even day before the wedding will say that my Fiance brother will not be in the wedding. Then that leaves my Fiance with one groomsmen and nobody there for him. Alot of people say that they think this might happen. Im so scared and ohhhh I hate those people! Sorry if there is alot of bad grammer in this….im just writing it our of frustration. Thanks guys!
Post # 3
I’m sorry but what you’re saying sounds like they have had a tumultuous relationship with your Fiance for a while and are pulling away out of hurt. I agree that it’s short-sighted to not form a relationship with their grandchild because of their fear you won’t let them see him, but isn’t that kind of what happened? It sucks that they talk about you behind your back, I definitely agree there, and their behavior is kinda pathetic, but you can be the bigger person. Honestly in this situation I would urge my Fiance to go to counseling – it’s really hard to break off all your ties and start afresh, and maybe he could use some help to evaluate those relationships and what they mean/meant to him. Good luck because it sounds like you’ve had a hard time of it.
Post # 4
It sounds like your Fiance is a good guy to leave his not-so-nice family and immature friends behind him. One groomsman is fine, and while I’m usually okay with an uneven wedding party it sounds like maybe having one woman standing with you might be best. I’m sure if you have good friends they would understand if you have to ask them to step down as bridesmaids. Or perhaps if you have a great family they would stand up with him to say that even if his family won’t be there your family will. It would be great even if your dad would stand with him, and if you have brothers or cousins that would be easiest. Or have one of your bridesmaids go stand with him. This is no time for traditions – it’s a time for support from caring people.
Post # 5
Wow, I’m so sorry that you have to deal with that. That’s just painful to even think about! For them to go all out and act like this and acting like victims is really pretty silly. I hope that they decide to let his brother stay in the wedding, and it seems as though even if they told him he can’t I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy about it.
Why do are they so standoffish? Claiming that they will be hurt by him again? Did something happen when he was younger that caused them to think this way? If at all possible, maybe try to sit them down, be it alone or with a therapist to sort these problems out. 🙁 Family is so important. I hope they wake up, life it is TOO short to be so petty and silly…
In terms of the groomsmen problem, personally what I would do is have some of my bridesmaids also get fitted for a tuxedo or black dresses, or even just have them stand on his side. My bridesmaids though are very close to my fiance so I know they wouldn’t have a problem, but yeah, that’s the only suggestion I can make–and that’s hard, because my fiance doesn’t have a whole lot of guy friends and one of his friends backed out of being a groomsmen, so he was pretty bummed.
Again, so sorry you have to deal with that, what a pain! 🙁 Best of luck to you, and keep us posted!
Post # 6
I’m so sorry for your experience with your Future In-Laws. I also don’t understand how or why people are so mean and cruel. I suppose it is just an obscene degree of self-centeredness. It’s ridiculous that they would let their little feud stand between letting your FI’s brother support him on that day.