Post # 1
After 10 years of friendship my Fiance has un-invited his Boyfriend or Best Friend to our wedding.
We sent out our invites and got a response from everyone except my Fiance best friend. When we asked if he has received his invite he said yes but he wasn’t sure he could make the day. My Fiance was clearly a little upset but said that was fine, just could he confirm if he didn’t think he could make it. After three weeks he still wasn’t sure but enquiring if his other friends were invited, he finally concluded another week on that he would come, but asked again about the other friends.
My Fiance is extremely laid back and has always avoided any sort of argument, but this has really got to him. He had an up and downer with his Boyfriend or Best Friend and told him the reasons the other people weren’t invited and got a lecture back. His friend apologised a few days later, I know this is due to my mentioning that he had upset him to a mutual friend who I know has been complaining about not receiving an invite and basically encouraged him to ask. My Fiance has now told him not to worry, forget about coming and all the best for the future. He has also cut contact with our other friends.
I understand why he is angry and disappointed his Boyfriend or Best Friend, it is mainly due to the fact he admitted he was always going to say yes, but he chose to wait and see if the others were invited and caused an argument in the process. I do know that it would have meant a lot for his Boyfriend or Best Friend to be there on the day and it does take ALOT to get an apology out of his friend.
Whilst I know he was unfair for what he did, I do think there were other influences and he felt pressured by other friends about how do come to a decision. I definitely do not want to speak to his Boyfriend or Best Friend about this as I really don’t feel it is my place.
Should I encourage my Fiance to try and resolve this as I can see how much it has hurt him? Or should I respect the decision he has made and accept that it happens and people move on?
Post # 3
Respect your FI’s decision and stay out of it. This EX Boyfriend or Best Friend isn’t a Boyfriend or Best Friend at all if he has to see who else is invited then complain when X or Y isn’t invited. A wedding is a time to celebrate the BRIDE AND GROOM, not to have a freaking reunion with all your friends. Be glad you don’t have to pay for him to attend with that attitude.
Post # 4
Best bet is to stay out of it.
Post # 5
Stay out of it. Let the boys work it out on their own terms, if they choose to do so.
Post # 6
@bluebella13: When did this all go down? I would respect your FI’s decision, give him some time to think it over…at least a week or two before you say anything. If they haven’t resolved it themselves then *gently* encourage your Fiance to resolve things. If he still doesn’t want to then let it go. That really sucks, but it’s his friend, so it’s best for you to support whatever your Fiance decides. Sorry you’re going through this : (
Post # 7
@VioletSky: It was last week he decided he didn’t want them there. I am pleased he stuck up for our decision, it just makes me feel bad for him as he is always so respectful of others choices. Think these boys certainly have some growing up to do. Hopefully they can work something out…..just not at the last minute!
Post # 8
Respect his decision as it is his choice. I went through something similar and unfortunately ended my friendship with two of my closest friends due to wedding related issues. I made this decision as I only want people in my life who will support me and my marriage. They need to be reliable and respectful, providing support through my stressful situations not creating additional stress. I am sad and sometimes wonder if it would have been different If only … But our true supporters stood strong and saved the day And surprised us with their commitment to making our dreams come true.
Post # 9
i would stay out of it. guys fights are different. who knows the could resolve it before the wedding, or after. but guys don’t have arguements with their BFs like girls do. I wouldn’t want to get involved and have your Fiance mad at you, for getting in his bussiness.