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My FI is crushed

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    Bumble bee
    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    My poor FI. His Best man just told us last night that they are expecting (a couple we moved our wedding date around for just so we can go to their wedding and them to ours) we are thrilled for them, but their due date is 5 days after our wedding. They live in New Jersey and we live in Nevada.  Not only that but FI works for a race team and they scheduled a race for the weekend of the wedding so none of his coworker friends will be there. I feel soooo bad, he feels like none of his good friends will be there with him. I don't know what to do! I wish I could move the wedding date, but everything is taken care of except for the small details. GAHHHH!

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I'm so sorry that happened!  I hope that he is able to have some friends come and have some time with this couple some other time.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    cannotwait    February 1, 2009   TX

    would a slightly different time of day work for the race buddies?

     
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    Rosie Girl    September 18, 2010   Montana

    I am so sorry to hear that. :( I hope everything goes ok and that some of his friends can come.

     
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    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    I'm sure we will be able to go, but I just wish we had chosen a less eventful weekend. 

     
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    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    The race team is going to Wyoming I think, so not a chance. 

     
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    stephinPA    October 29, 2010   Reading, PA

    Oh.  That is a bummer.  I hope some peeps can make it for him!

     
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    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Put a bug in the ear of one of his local good friends and make sure they plan him one heck of a weekend getaway, just the guys, before the wedding. Maybe that'll help.

    I know J is looking forward to going camping and kayaking with his guys (they've done it for 3 bachelor parties running now) almost as much as he's looking forward to the wedding... or maybe more but he'd never admit it to me. :)

     
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    AzinAugust    August 2010   Sedona, AZ

    The same thing happened to us with a groomsman, he will have a beautiful baby who is 2 months old by the time our wedding rolls around... but he's still coming [please note we have backup plans!]

     
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    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    Daydream, I love that idea. I will make sure to get his number so that I can call him and ask him to come out for his bachelor party. I'll get him a room on the LV strip at least a month before so him and his good buds will party and have a good time. 

     
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    missjyc    September 18, 2010   macomb, michigan

    aww i TOTALLY feel your situation!

    my FI's extended family is only 1.5 away, but they don't like to "travel" and he's really sad that they might not all make it! to his WEDDING!

    on TOP OF THAT, he doesn't have a lot of close friends... a lot of acquaintances and his BFF, so he's sad that he won't have many friends to invite to the wedding either.

    we did see the family up north over the holidays and we think we might have twisted their arms a bit (tho we shouldn't have had to)... and FI is friends with a lot of my friends.. so we are going to have an AMAZING time regardless! :D

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    When my sister (MOH) told me she was pregnant and had specifically planned it around my wedding date at first I was shocked and appalled at the thought, but now it doesn't sound so crazy to me anymore. She wanted to be there for me, and really could get pregnant anytime (she already has 2 kids). No instead of thinking she was crazy for doing that, I think she was being practical and very respectful.

    If she's due 5 days after your wedding, unfortunately, assuming the father wants to be there for the birth they won't be able to come. And the second you change your wedding date for them they'll either get pregnant again or decide to bring a screaming baby to your ceremony.

     
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    Honey bee
    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    What do you have done that your date can't be moved... I see that your wedding is Sept of this year. 

    Are the invitations printed... save the dates? If those are done it might be hard to change your date.

    If not, your reception place maybe flexible in your changing your date.

    hope it works out for you.

     
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    Miss Velveteen    20 March 2010   New Zealand

    I would totally change the date, I would be so devastated too if I was your fi! For me weddings are about celebrating with family and friends and so if almost none of mine could make it on a specific weekend it wouldn't be worth holding the wedding that weekend for me :( I hope you guys can figure something out!

     
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    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    I have save the dates ready to be mailed, invitations being finished, church, venue, all vendors completed. We already moved the date for them once also because they were getting married around the same time we were. They wanted an October wedding and we had chosen September as our month, but then they couldn't get October and chose September, so we changed ours to August. 

     
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    care23    February 16, 2010   Toronto, On

    Awwwww sorry to hear that!! Have you thought about asking a female??? or is that strange?? I've seen it done before.

     
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    MyraG    August 14, 2010  

    He was actually going to have two best men, his brother and his best friend. Its not a problem of him having a best man,  its the fact that his GOOD friends wont be there. He doesn't really have female friends. I'm not worried about how many bm vs gm that's irrelevant, its the people being there that matters. 

     
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    Vitsippa    October 10, 2010  

    That's a bummer! But how about secretly surprising him with a video of his friends giving him their well wishes? You can write to his friends and give them all the details - like have them record a 1-minute clip or something, don't forget to set a due date to give yourself more than enough time to put it together.

    You can play it for him during the wedding as your special gift. It can be nice and really memorable!

     
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    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    :( that totally stinks! I'm worried about Mr. KM's best friend not being able to make it from California. He writes alot of the music scores for some pretty big TV shows (Battlestar Galactica for one) and movies and works about 80 hours a week. He would be so upset if he couldn't come!

     
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    jennifer_espos    June 18, 2010   NYC

    So sorry to hear that!  I'd be really bummed too.  I hope the rest of his friends and family will be able to attend.  There really doesn't sound like there's much for you to do but to be supportive, which you seem to be already.  I think once the time comes that you start getting RSVP's back and he sees that there are a lot of people he cares about still coming, he'll be happy again. 

     

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