- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I’ve read on weddingbee for a long time, but have never posted before.
Now I’ve got a tough situation.
My Fiance hit me- for the first time in our relationship. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and I am just so shocked that he could ever do such a thing. He’s been unemployed for the past few months, and he is stressed- it’s been hard on both of us, but I know that he’ll find a job soon. He’s smart, highly employable and highly educated, and people like him.
But to him, he feels like the biggest failure in the world. And because of that, he takes his stress out on me? Yesterday he called me a ‘bitch’ over an argument. Of course, I completely broke down after he did that (he also called me a piece of shit… yep, winner material right there.) He’s never done this in the past, and it shocked me to the core. He apologized all last night, and after a while, I told him that he, under no circumstance, was to do that agian- and that we needed to work on our communication skills- possibly seek therapy. That I never wanted to bring children into a world where their father was abusing their mother. He agreed.
What happened today? Well, we were supposed to go to a work function. He was stressing out about something small around the house, and I was in a rush to leave, and to get there on time. We were going to be about an hour late, so I called and said that we couldn’t make it– this, after he yelled at me to tell me that he wasn’t going. So I called, and told them we couldn’t go because he wasn’t feeling well. Then he freaked out and told me that we could still go- and told me to call back and tell them that we were going. I refused to, because once I make a call, I like to not sound like a lunatic and change my mind. I told him that it was his fault that we weren’t going, and that next time, could he please schedule his time so that we could have a space for things that I find are important. He got angry at what I said– I think it was my blaming him for making us late– he threw a temper tantrum, stamping his feet and everything, and he slapped me across the face- it’s still red now, about an hour later. I went to the bathroom immediately, locked it, and am now contemplating what the fuck I’m supposed to do next.
He just cooked dinner for the both of us, and brought it to the room- I told him that I really don’t think a dinner will fix what he just did, and to take it away. He said he’d leave it on the table. I told him that if he did that, I’d throw the plate down the stairs. He took it away. Fuck. I just feel like this douchewad just threw away something amazing. Or am I being hard on him? But is this ever justified– slapping someone across the face? No, right?
I feel like he recognizes he’s being such an idiot. But he can’t change. I don’t know if we have couples counselling covered under insurance. But I think that maybe, this is worth it to pay out of pocket? Fuck. This is so infuriating that he would put us in this position. Please, anybody have any insight/advice?