- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
This is more of a vent than anything else, but if you have any input on how to handle this, it’d be really really REALLY appreciated…
Ok so… I’ll try to make it short and sweet. I used to have this friend (we’ll name him A). A and I were best friends for almost 10 years. We were always there for each other, we talked on the phone almost constantly, it was easy and I loved having him in my life.
I started dating my Fiance in August of 2012 and of course, told A right away. A and Fiance met and got along great…. A then one day told me he liked one of my girlfriends. Funny thing is, I always thought they’d be perfect for each other. Same interests, same sense of humor…. anyway I introduced him to her and voila, sure enough the two of them hit it off, wonderful!!!!
Pass forward to January 1st 2014, I get engaged yepeeeee!!!!! from then on it is radio silence. A deletes me from facebook back in….. early february? I call him out on it and he says I’m not being a good friend. I haven’t even started planning anything at this point, just enjoying life and working like I always have. Nothing had changed, we still talked and texted all the time. So this caught me completely off guard.
This is where it gets good…… So his now live in girlfriend is one of my bridesmaids. She made my life a fucking living hell. She did NOT want to be a bridesmaid and basically bitched bitched and bitched about everything until I basically had to fire her for my own damn peace of mind. (I found out later on she had told another one of my friends, she felt that my ring was supposed to be hers and I don’t deserve it because she is 3 years older than me) fine! no biggie. we ended up in fantastic terms, I thought that was the best way to fix our friendship. To this day we actually work together, see each other all the time.
Maybe about a month later A calls me to tell me he is planning on proposing and has a ring. Of course I’m over the moon exited for them, specially for her since that ring finger of hers was BURNING for a ring. He asks me to try and find out her ring size, so I do….somehow on some group text stuff I find out. I tell him. Then we spend idk, 2 hours on the phone with my Fiance too because he wants to ask my Fiance how he basically grew the balls to pop the question. My Fiance had to tell him he didn’t have to grow anything because he was ready. Anyway, 2 hours looking for cute ideas…. I was loving it and I was so excited for A.
Proposal day comes around, I know he proposed because she posted it on facebook. I go to write a status congratulating my best friend A and S on their engagement and realize I can’t tag A because he once again deleted me from facebook. umm ok? So I text them both instead. She responds with a very nice thank you, can’t wait to plan this thing, we get to plan our weddings together (not really) but yay! sure. He responds “thanks”. My Fiance texts him to congratulate him, and A responds right away with a “thank you man, that was so hard, i’m so excited, thanks for all your help….” and I got a mere thanks. It hurt my feelings so much, because I tried to help him out and make it special, he is marrying one of my friends for crying out loud.
Anyway, 2 days ago he texted my Fiance asking him if we still had a hookah that my Fiance had bought for them long ago (after asking me to ask my Fiance to buy it of course), Fiance said he sold it because it was just sitting there collecting dust. A automatically responds “oh i’m sure it was because of mrs piggles huh…”. So my Fiance responded, told him you really need to figure out what the hell is wrong because we are getting married in 3 months and if you don’t call her and fix this, I’m sorry but I can’t have you at our wedding. I want her to have all her closest family and friends there and if you are going to bring drama with you, don’t show.
A just texted me asking if I can talk.
I am exhausted…. he says I haven’t been a good friend. I’ve been there for him for years through good and bad relationships, through family issues and moves and work problems. My Fiance says we need to fix this because S is coming to the wedding, bringing A and he doesn’t want drama. But at this point….I’ve had it…. I don’t care if he comes or not. He has some outrageous expectations of our friendship that I just can’t fulfill it seems. I just changed districts in my job, I’m planning a wedding the size of a small village, I’m injured and getting all my preop crap done so I can fix my hip after the honeymoon… and my parents are goign through a divorce. A hasn’t been there for any of it and that’s fine, I can’t handle it. But I am the bad friend?
What the hell do I do?
ps. I’m still inviting him to the wedding because of S. I don’t mind having him there, it won’t be a catastrophy if I walk into my venue and he is there sitting down with a poo poo face.
Anyway don’t be mean please…. thank you for reading, sorry it got long!!!!