Post # 1
Wedding planning is coming along really well everything is practically finished. Last Night my FI told me that he wants to hire me a housekeeper/nanny! I am a stay at home mom and that is very active in community service groups as well as the PTA in my area. My house like everyone else’s that has two kids has its good days and its bad ones. LOL But I am home every day when my kids get off the bus.
I really don’t think we need a housekeeper/nanny and to be honest I feel a little insulted that he thinks that I need help. Bee’s how would feel? Would you take the extra help?
Post # 3
I was a nanny for a SAHM with three kids. She also had a house cleaner who did laundry. I don’t think your husband is trying to say anything about your housekeeping or parenting skills, if you have the funds to hire someone I think you should. I was exhausted after my time helping her out so I couldn’t imagine doing that full time. Even if a nanny comes a few afternoons a week, you can use that time to work out, see friends, or just get some ‘me’ time.
Post # 4
I don’t think he is being insulting, it shoulds like he is probably trying to give you a break. I think if you don’t want just tell him. However having at least a housekeeper come in and do a big clean one a week would probably be so helpful.
Post # 5
@ashasmith: i think hes trying to be sweet!! maybe he wants you to have a few hours to yourself every week as a break. i wouldnt take it as a negative! or he thinks youre working too hard and wants to take care of you?
could it be a family thing? like his mum was madly busy and tired and really needed help but didnt have any…and it hit a chord with him as a child? or maybe hes just already dreamed of being successful enough to have “help”?
Post # 6
A housekeeper means he wants to ease your burden and have more you/couple time! Honey, I love your FI! What a man!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t take it as an insult. If you can afford it, then by all means do it!
Post # 8
How is that insulting? He’s being sweet! That’s like getting a brand new dress from your husband and being insulted that he doesn’t like the way you dress, or getting a diamond necklace and being insulted because you think that he thinks you’re too plain.
Post # 9
Wow…I wouldn’t take it as an insult. I’d take it as…ahhh, he sees how stressed I am and is trying to help. So sweet.
Post # 10
I think its a thoughtful gesture. Maybe he wants to look out for you and make sure you don’t get worn out. At least try it out and take him up on it (it may work to your advantage) if it doesnt work for you then im sure you guys can decide to discontinue.
Post # 11
Unless it was preceded by a few weeks of snide comments or constant critiques of the house, I’d say that this is just one sweet SO! I can see how you may feel that it’s a slight, but really, I think the PPs are right on – he thinks you’re great, you’re doing LOTS, you’re doing well, and you deserve a little bit of the load off your shoulders. I’d snatch up a coffee and let the nanny/housekeeper do his/her thing! 🙂
Post # 13
I would sign up for this in a heartbeat.
Post # 14
I’m pretty sure my ideal world includes never cleaning, so I would have NO problem with that.
Post # 15
I would not for a second take that as an insult. I would take it that your husband actually values how much work you put in for the family (don’t take that for granted at all) and how much you do for everyone and wants to lighten your load a little by having someone who can watch the kids while you run errands, for instance, or clean the bathroom so you can focus on a project for the PTA or helping with homework instead. Even if you don’t feel stressed or like you can’t handle it all, you’ll see that after you have a little bit of help you may have time for some stuff that wasn’t the top priority before, like “me time” or date nights with your husband. (Just throwing out examples, not trying to say you don’t do that stuff, etc. because you didn’t say in the OP, not trying to be insulting, just throwing out common type examples). If you are very against it then put your foot down, but I definitely wouldn’t be insulted and I would take it as a compliment that your husband sees how much you balance (and probably realizes that he couldn’t balance all that you do and it probably seems crazy to him!).
Post # 16
I wouldn’t take it as an insult! I’m guessing he just wants to take some of the pressure off you so you don’t get too frazzled.